ydaer er'uoy revenehw {whenever you're ready - joshler au}

eno

'the water will drain'   

his hands shook as he gently drew the last stroke, each word perfectly reflecting his thoughts. he hadn't seen the man in almost ten years - his last memories were already fading. he could barely remember how the guy had looked; whether he'd been bald, or tall, or if his smile crinkled at the edges like his. 'father' was how the mum referred to the man. 'dad' was his own word. although this 'dad' hadn't been very much of a dad for a while. just as much as he hadn't been a son.

the letter was his words, on paper, his story, his feelings. 'dear dad,' he crossed that out. 'dear kristopher. you may not know who i am, but i am your son.' he read over it six times, seven even, just to make sure he'd said everything he had to say. he did not disclose any personal information. not even his name.

his name.

he knew his name. he knew that it was his mum's father's name, even though he had passed away when he was nine. he knew that it was also the name of a famous actor his dad liked when he was a kid, and it was the name of a football star everyone talked about. but it wasn't his name. he wasn't his grandfather, an actor or a sports star. he was himself. he allowed himself the small mercy of being nameless. having that shred of uniqueness. his name, or lack thereof.

🌠🌠🌠

"tell that boy to stay away from me!" "oh come on kristopher, he's just looking for a father figure. why don't you just try and be supportive?" "supportive? i never wanted that boy. he's a stupid mistake! we were young, we didn't need him. and i certainly don't need him now." "you're being unreasonable." "i'm being unreasonable?!" the sound of skin on skin rang through the house, as he wiped that one stray tear from his cheek. "you don't deserve to see him. get out of my fucking house kristopher. i didn't want to see you anyways." the door slammed and he could hear a sigh. from outside, a car angrily grumbled, making it's way down the road.

the memories were like water, but there was no way he could hold onto them. they were slipping through his fingers. the hope had gone from his eyes. any drop of respect he'd had for those memories were gone. he ran to his room, abandoning his comfortable spot on the stairs. he slammed the door and fell to the ground, clawing his fingernails into the soft blue carpet around him, as though he was searching for the water, the memories.

but he couldn't find a drop.

hello all! sorry that the first few chapters aren't that good, but the ending is worth it i promise. also, each chapter is based off of a song, which i'll attach above!

thanks for choosing my story! ~ liv