ydaer er'uoy revenehw {whenever you're ready - joshler au}

neves

'all you did will be undone'  

he was finally happy for once - he had his mum, his boyfriend, a nice house - yet something wasn't right. it felt as though he was numb. he felt empty. suicidal thoughts would constantly creep into his head late at night. he was losing sleep. he was depressed. each night, he would reopen the scars that had finally begun to heal. he would paint, draw, sketch, but nothing could keep his mind off of the inevitable sadness that held him captive.

one night, he finally snapped.

12:04 he decided to drive down to the beach. he made sure he had everything, the letter, the small container his mother kept in the upstairs cupboard, the bottled water. he did a quick detour, placing the letter between the panes of tiger's window. he then drove straight to where he needed to go. he looked down to make sure the water and the container were still safely together in the backseat, where tiger's heart had once been.

12:27 he didn't see the car coming in the other direction.

🌠🌠🌠

12:58 he was being taken away, to an unknown place. the hearse he had been driving had collided head first with a slightly larger automobile. now he felt as though he was in a taxi cab, being taken to the next place. he heard familiar screams, the ones of his mother and his boyfriend. tiger kept screaming "why!", while his mother sobbed and screamed "what have you done!" 'don't be afraid,' he thought. 'this is what i wanted to happen.'

1:12 he was moving. the taxi cab was shaking as it sped down the road. he could feel the presence of three men, one driving and two fussing over him. "it's not looking good," one of the men called, pressing something into his arm. he opened his eyes, to be met with a blinding light. he felt the cool air on his skin, revealing where his fingernails had fought their wars.

"am i alive?" he asked, his voice hoarse. his hands shook as he tried to gain focus, feeling sick as everything moved and blurred around him. one man leaned over him. "we're almost to the hospital, just hang in there." he said, a softness in his voice. "everything's going to be okay," the second man said from over at a monitor.

'we're going to the morning sun,' he thought. 'to my new future.' he started to cry. he didn't want to die. not yet.

"don't be afraid," he whispered.