The Victor

1

I thrash awake in the middle of the night, screaming in horror, drenched with sweat, out of control and out of my mind. The instant I open my eyes, Haymitch darts into my bedroom."Piper, it's just a dream." He says, and I meet his eyes. Some part of me regains control over my lungs and I take a deep breath, trying to slow my rapid heartbeat.Haymitch sits in the chair next to my bed, and I stare up at the ceiling."Maybe I should sleep next door. Then I won't wake you up.""Pigeon, we've had this conversation a thousand times. You're not leaving."I try not to blink. The nightmares return when I do. "They never stop. I'm terrified to sleep. Does it ever get easier?""Give it time, Piper. It's only been six months."I let out a dry laugh. "Only six months."Only six months since I moved into my own house in Victor's Village. Only six months since I faced Leif's parents. Only six months since the nightmares started. Only six months since I won the Games.I feel like I'm getting worse instead of better."Do you want to talk about it?" Haymitch asks, knowing my answer."I need to see him." I say, slipping out of my bed."Piper, you've already visited once this month. The cameras will be here soon. The Victory Tour –""I need to see him." I say, twisting my ring around my finger. As I exit the room, I grab the sand dollar off my dresser."Piper, it's time to let him go." Haymitch says. But I don't think he remembers that Magnus made me promise to return it to his sister. I'll see her on the Victory Tour. I'll fulfill his dying wish soon.It doesn't take me too long to trudge through the snow to Peeta's house. The people I pass nod to me, and I smile back.The only good thing about being a victor is that the Capitol gave the people of District 12 something too. They reap rewards from my victory as well. Not only do they get grain and oil, but also the medicine I have access to from the Capitol is better than any herbs the healers around here can get.I reach Peeta's house and lean against the wall, knocking on his bedroom window as subtly as I can two times, then four times. He opens it immediately."Piper, you can't be here." He says, but I slip inside anyway."I had to see you. I won't be able to for a while." I say, hugging him to me. His blond hair has darkened with the seasons."I miss you." Peeta says."I know. But I have to keep you safe." I say. The last remnants of my nightmare get chased away by holding him in my arms. I linger there for minutes, until we hear thumping above our heads."Piper, you've got to go. She's awake." Peeta says with a glance upwards. His mother and father sleep on the upper floor.I slip out the window."Piper?" Peeta asks. "Are your nightmares getting worse?"I look at him, and shake my head. I have to shelter him from the truth. "No, they're better, actually.""You're lying." He says. "You're twisting your ring, and I can see the sand dollar in your pocket."I give him a reassuring smile and disappear into the street as a group of people walks past, blending in.When did I get so bad at lying?I head back to my house instead of Haymitch's. That's where everyone will meet me at noon.When I walk in, I immediately stop."Hello." I say, looking at the man in the pure white suit, his cheekbones too prominent to be from anywhere but the Capitol.I take off my boots. My house is practically untouched, the floors still gleaming. Since the cameras will be here later, I don't want to get snow all over the place."Miss Lockly, could you come with me?" The man asks, and he ushers me into the office I've probably only been in once. I slip my ring off my finger and pocket it.In a chair sits a man I recognize. He's thin and small, like a rat, and his coal-black eyes watch me like a snake's. He wears all white and the moment I walk in, I smell the overwhelming scent of roses. He has one pinned to his lapel.Peeta. Peeta is in danger. Every one of my sense is on high alert. I have to act like nothing is wrong, or he's dead."President Snow." I say respectfully, taking a seat."Miss Lockly. Are you enjoying life as a victor?" His voice sends invisible chills down my back.Besides the nightmares? The knowledge that I'm still your toy?"I'm excited for the Victory Tour." I say coolly. "It'll be interesting to see the other Districts."President Snow watches me carefully. I know he's not fooled by my show of calm. He knows my stomach is leaping into my lungs."I have a proposition for you." He says.The Games aren't over, Piper. Finnick Odair had warned me about this."Oh?"President Snow considers me carefully. "You've caught the Capitol's eye. Not a day passes when I don't hear a story about the songbird from District 12. Your arrival during the Victory Tour is long awaited. The citizens of the Capitol long to see you. You understand the point. Frankly, I think I can be blunt, Piper.""You can." I say, my tone getting colder."You seem like the person to do anything for the ones you love. I hope that's true." President Snow says. "In the Capitol, we have a practice of giving past tributes who are considered desirable to our most loyal citizens…for a price of course."My heart clenches as fear floods every cell in my body. "You sell them, the tributes that the Capitol likes? You sell their bodies to stay in power.""If you want to put it so coarsely.""Finnick Odair. You sell him too?" I ask tensely. I'm living a nightmare.President Snow leans closer, and underneath the roses I catch a whiff of blood. My stomach rebels. "Piper, if you refuse, I will kill one person you love. Refuse again, and –""I won't!" I say. "I won't become the Capitol's pet, their songbird, I won't –""Piper, what I don't think you realize is that you already are."I freeze as my blood runs cold."Are you really willing to sacrifice the people you love?"No one owns me but me."What people?" I say, my voice cold. "The only person I have is Haymitch.""If you think I will hesitate to kill Mr. Abernathy –""You can't. He's a mentor, the only other one District 12 has. The Capitol likes Haymitch. They think he's lovable. If I turn up to mentor the next set of tributes without him, the Capitol will lose interest. The next Games will be nothing without the newest father-daughter duo. You can't kill me, either, so what do you have, President Snow?" I say, gaining confidence. I have to protect Peeta at any cost.President Snow's eyes flash."I was in the Games, President Snow. I know a bluff when I see one." I stand up. "You can't break me if you don't own me. And right now, you don't own any part of me. So, President Snow, respectfully, get out of my house.""You'll regret this." President Snow says as he stands."I'm sure I will." I say. "But not today."He and his bodyguard exit, stepping into a sleek black vehicle that's pulled up outside. They zoom off. The moment they disappear, I grab onto my front door for support. The mere idea of what I've done, but also what I've said no too, makes the contents of my stomach churn. The thought of a Capitolian owning me for a night, running his hands over me, breaks down my self-control. I heave the contents of my stomach into the bushes. The sour taste lingers in my mouth as I stumble back inside.The prep team will be here soon, and I can't look like such a sweaty, pale mess. I wash out my mouth and clean my face, even putting on fresh clothes to rid myself of the scent of roses. Then I cover the office with perfume, choking me but also hiding the fact President Snow was here. Haymitch can't know about this.The sound of slamming doors and yells of surprise outside warn me to my prep team's approach. I barely have time to brush my wild hair back from my face before they burst through the door."Piper, darling!" Pleione shrieks as her, Katri, and Corbinus descend upon me. I'm whisked to the bathroom, where I'm treated to despair about my hair, "You cut it again, didn't you?", outrage over my eyebrows, "I'll be astounded if I can salvage anything from these!", and whimpers over my bitten fingernails, "I mean, they were always short, but Piper!"They keep chattering about their lives and their problems, insignificant, almost, compared to mine, as they finish my hands and face. It is clear Zenobia's going for something simple at last; my lips are painted a reddish-pink and my eyelids a coppery color.As Katri applies the last fake nail to my pinky, painted the same copper as my eyes, she giggles. "Guess who I got the chance to meet!"Corbinus and Pleione instantly descend upon her with queries."Well, as you know, my uncle is a retired Head Gamemaker, and for my birthday, he got me a little surprise." Katri grins and my heart skips a beat."Well?" Pleione asks impatiently."Finnick Odair."My blood turns to ice in my veins and without thinking, I grip the arms of the chair so tightly as Corbinus and Pleione erupt into cries of envy."I would kill for him." Pleione says pitifully."Excuse me." I murmur as I launch myself out of the room, suddenly shivering. The idea that even Katri, sweet Katri with her iridescent eyes, is a part of this game President Snow plays so artfully. I wonder if he did this as a show of power, thinking that far ahead."Piper." A voice says, and I jerk myself out of my paranoid reverie."Zenobia." I say, trying to hide my shivering body in the folds of my clothes."Put these on. Is your talent ready?" She asks."Yeah.""Good." I think she's pretending not to notice my state of mind.I slip into the thin white shirt, the gray and blue sweater, the tight black pants that feel weightless but are quite warm, and black boots."Show me what you've been up to." Zenobia says, and I open up a door, revealing what I've been doing for the past few months.Photographs line every wall, stuck up with needles and pins. An abandoned camera lies on a bench."You've been busy." Zenobia says, circling the room."Taking pictures keeps my mind off things." I say softly."They're fairly decent."Coming from Zenobia, that's high praise, so I paste on a smile."Here." She hands me a stack of cards. "Just read from these while they film in here and attempt to sound like you're having fun please."I grab the cards and rifle through them. "These are ridiculous." I mutter."You don't have a choice.""Chop chop!" I hear Effie say as she bustles in. "Piper, darling!" She embraces me, and I hug her tightly. I think Effie is the only Capitol citizen I could ever trust, except for Zenobia.The sound crew comes in and records me reading things off the cards that make no sense until inserted in the right place. Then I go out into the foyer. Haymitch is in my office, giving an interview to a camera crew. I trace the circle of the sand dollar in my pocket.Zenobia slips something warm and furry over my shoulders, and I accept the coat, made out of luxuriously soft, black fur. I slip on white gloves and a thick red scarf."Okay, so next we're going to shoot Piper walking down Victor's Village to the train station on her way to her Victory Tour. I want the prep team, Haymitch, Zenobia, and I all walking behind her." Effie says. I step to my front door and I think I smell roses. I can't let fear control me, but right now it has the upper hand.I stride as confidently as I can on the icy path. The sky is gray but snow hasn't begun to fall yet. Effie pushes me into my car to the train station. I wave goodbye to District 12, then I'm inside, being herded to dinner, my heavy coat finally being removed.I sit down and eat all I can bear. I feel like every meal could be my last. The regret for what I've done is seeping in. I can't tell Haymitch. He's overprotective as it is. In fact, there's no one I can possibly tell, and that knowledge weighs heavily on my shoulders, almost as heavily as the fact that I was almost sold into prostitution today.I take a sip of my water and notice that it tastes of orange. Another trend, no doubt. I drain the glass and almost immediately begin to feel my eyelids droop. Paranoia kicks in.I turn to look at Haymitch, swaying as I do so. "You – you – put something in –" My eyes close, but I force them open."I'm sorry, Piper." He says to me as I sway again. He catches me and picks me up like I'm weightless. "One night without nightmares, okay? You'll need it tomorrow."I try to glare at him but I'm drifting away. I fall asleep in his arms.