Deep In My Heart

Chapter Twelve

Three days later

Mom and I flew on California, we were gonna be on Queen Latifah's show. She announced us out to the stage. We walked wave a bit to the crowd and sat down on the couch after hugging her.

We got to talking explaining what really happened and what kind of a man Jonathan really is.

"This isn't really anyone's business, this is private family matter and I actually the people would understand that instead bashing us saying all of those things...we are not perfect lot of folks out here be acting like they don't do no wrong they all perfect...no ones perfect we too have family problems just like everyone else you would want respect and privacy for the things that goes on in your household and family, we want the same thing." I said

Queen nod her head agreeing with what I said. After that we hugged her and left began making our way to Oprah's studio. Everyone's getting ready to tune in for the interview. Even dad tuning in. We got to the set had did make up, didn't need a lot or anything. Then we was announced to the stage. Came and sat down on the couch.

We got real deep into the interview. There were some tears shedding.

"I regret a lot for what I did, I was young and stupid listening to the words of my parents, believing the lies of a man I thought I loved, I abandoned my firstborn she needed me and I didn't come for her like I should... I missed out so much in her life missed special moments I could've had with her but I never stopped thinking about her she's always been a part of me...but I am happy so happy of the young woman she has become and I'm very happy that she has forgiven me and allowed me a second chance to be a part of her life again I know I can't get those years back but I'm willing to do whatever just to be at her side and in her life...I made a bad mistake and I am doing all I can to make it up to her." Mom said with tears coming down her face. I held her hand.

"I was angry very angry was always mad and sad, I was confused back than didn't understand anything that was going on...waking up one day and i couldn't hear anything couldn't hear my own voice...it took me a long time to stop being mad, the things I've done...the things I've tried to do, I fought every day, used to think it was my fault things were the way they were, wanting people to understand that I was hurt too I'm angry too, there was nothing else I could do to change what happened to me." I sniff softly bit my lips a bit

"Music became everything to me, it was what mellow my mind kept me calm made feel better, I forgave my parents for what they done, yes I hate that I had to grow up without them but I forgive them, I still love them...I'm happy to have my mom back in my life." I continued I looked at mom and smile softly

"We all make mistakes in life we mist take it as n lesson and move on become whole again." I said
Oprah sniff a bit this made her and everyone teary. Than we had put Jonathan on spot for all the things he has done. Let them know he isn't the man he led people to think he is.
After all that we was finally done with the interview. Oprah thanked us for coming and all. Then mom and I left, had hop on a jet and began making our way back home.

I was laying on the couch, my head on mom's lap. She was running her fingers through my braid gently massaging my head. We both was very tired.

"Do you miss him?" I ask

She looked at me as I opened my eyes.

"Dad...do you miss him?" I ask

"Everyday...never stopped thinking about him." She answered

"I know...the song was we did was about him." She cock her head

"Long distance love...I knew you was talking about him." I continued. She sigh softly

"Was wondering if he heard it, heard what's going on., hoping he forgives me and that he misses me too." Mom said, thinking back to the moments she and dad shared.

"He misses you too."

Mom sigh and smile softly as she said "I'm sure he does, baby." Looking down at me, I sat up and faced her.

"He does, mom...he told me." I said staring at her. She stared at me confused

"Lo and I kept in contact with him over the years, he's been in jail...we would see him every month." I confess.

"Leon has been seeing him?"

"Yes, he didn't say anything cause of Jonathan was afraid he'll do something to keep him away, he misses you he asks Leon about you all the time." 

Mom sniff softly as she nod her head a bit. She wasn't upset that we've kept in contact with dad.

"Do you want to see him...Lo and I are due for a visit, we can take you to see him?" I ask

Her eyes lit up a bit and nod her head yes. I pulled her into my arms and held her tight as she did the same to me.

She never stopped thinking about her true love, my dad.