Closure (Karkat X Reader)

Chapter 21

We climb in the car with a more joyful aura than from before, and the ride back home is full of playful conversation that makes me feel a tad less worried. Once we get back to the apartment, however, we walk in to see Kankri hunched over his laptop looking far more tired than before. A half full cup of coffee rests at his side, and it looks like it hasn't been touched in hours.
"You okay there, Kanks?" I ask with concern.
"Just trying to finish this article." he says.
"You've been on the same article for, what, a week? I'm sure it's fine," I say, looking over to his computer. Considering his daily lectures, I can see why he's so frazzled like this.
"Yes, but this job means a lot to us. It can help me get the money for another apartment." He replies in an almost zombie like tone. I frown, sauntering over to him and hesitantly pick up his computer.
"I know you need your job, but you also need something to make you a bit happier." I say, exiting out of Word and onto Chrome.
"Theft can be triggering to some people, you know," he says halfheartedly.
"uh huh," I murmur back, typing in EHarmony on his Mac.
"May I ask what you're really doing, miss y/n?"
"I'm getting you either a) laid, or b) a girlfriend. Hopefully all of the above." I reply, clicking the 'sign up' link.
"I am sorry, but I do not think a red relationship would be in my best interests at the mom----"
"shhhhhhhhh. It's okay, you'll thank me later." I say, typing his name into the computer.
"But I-"
"What's your username gonna be?"
"Umm-"
"How about SexyBeast413. That just screams 'I'm desperate', don't you think?"
"I really do not think I would feel comfortable with that title. In fact, I do feel slightly trigg-"
"Fine, then. RedSweater69 it is. That way, the ladies will think you're classy AND good in bed."
"Pardon me, but 69 is a highly influential symbol to Karkat and I's people, so I would like it if yo-"
"Favorite movie?" I ask, cutting him off. Meanwhile, Karkats laughter is audible from the kitchen.
"... Selma."
"Did you mean The Great Gatsby? Because I know chicks dig history buffs, but not the real ones."
"While that movie is appealing, I still prefer-"
"Food?"
"... salad."
"Salad, crackers and wine. Got it. Book?"
"I think there's far too many to list, I'm afraid."
"Let's just put down To Kill a Mocking Bird."
"What an excellent piece. I particularly enjoyed Atticus' ending speech, and how Harper Lee was able to convey th-"
"Perfect date?"
"..." He goes silent. I look over to him, confused, to see his face completely blank.
"Well?" He clears his throat uncomfortably.
"I... I... to be honest, I've never been on one."
I almost fall to the floor. "Seriously?" I ask, and he gives an embarrassed nod in return. "Well, then. I guess it's up to me. We'll say... how about a picnic on the beach while you munch on wine platters and discuss poetry?"
"I would assume that seems appealing."
"Good." I say, typing away his profile. He shifts uncomfortably in his spot. "I'll handle the rest. Say cheese first, though."
"huh?"
I snap a picture of him from the computer, then just type in a few more sentences before clicking the finish button.
"Aaaaaaand done!" I exclaim. The finished product is a work of art.
Absolute masterpiece.
It's better than Picasso up in this bitch. I turn the computer over for Karkat to see, and his laughter amps up even more than before. Kankri just stares in disbelief.
"It looks... amazing. Like... me." he admires in a quiet tone.
"I'm just that good, huh?"
"JESUS FUCK HIS EYE IS TWITCHING. Y/N THIS IS FUCKING GOLD I'M- F FPFFFAHAHAH" Karkat keels into uncontrollable laughter yet again, having to hold his stomach in the process.
"And now we wait," I say, already seeing a like on the page.