Jariana: Best mistake

Justin 21: The Break up

Today is the day.

I messaged Hailey and told her that I wanted to meet up.

I practiced over night and made up my mind. I remembered the night Ariana confessed and she told me that she broke up with Big Sean. That's a big accomplishment, not in a bad way.

She told Big Sean everything. Because she loved him and didn't want him to be broken. And now Big Sean is dating a new chic and he's happy as heck.

I wanted to tell Hailey everything. I want to be open to her. I want her to be happy.

Hailey (sms):
I'll be there at 4 babe

It's my 24th time reading her text (probably my 25th). Over and over and over.

I know that it's all my fault and that I'm responsible for this. I don't know. It might be a heartbreak or nah.

I've been with Hailey for more than a year now. I've seen her cry, get pissed off, laugh endlessly. I know we still got to have years to know more of ourselves but I've seen almost all of her—transparently. She told me mostly everything about her, what she's going through. And it made me think that I haven't opened up to her about, well, a lot of things.

I sat on that couch, wearing just some simple outdoor outfit.

I reserved the restaurant for just the two of us. It might sound a little bit paranoid but I didn't wanna tell it to her in front of a crowd.

And the good thing about this resto is that we're out of the scene. The city is too far for gossips and haters.

All I'm thinking now is what I'm about to say to her.

I brushed my now sweaty hair with my fingers and just blew some air.

The longer I waited, the more I wanted to just move the date to some other time. But I didn't wanna make her suffer anymore.

"Hailey, I — " I started and was so nervous to continue what I have practiced. I felt the sweat roll down my eyebrows. "No, no." I shook my head as I try to remember the lines that i made up.

I did it for full 24 hours and I can't remember it anymore. I got my copy from my pocket.

Hailey, trust me, i wanted to tell you this ever since. But I didn't have the guts to.
I'll accept your hatred if it's what you'll feel later on. But always remember that I loved you, sincerely. Well I did, but it's not enough for you. It's not enough for a lifetime.
I had a chance to love once but i wasted everything. And i promised to myself that I won't do it again. I don't want to ruin our relationship, even if it's you being just my friend now. I honestly enjoyed accompanying you. You're very funny, beautiful, talented and any guy would be lucky to have you. I was lucky. But I don't want to fake my feelings. I don't want to hurt you anymore. My life turned from grey to multi-colored and thanks to you. My broken heart was mended. For a few. Thank you for taking good care of me. And thanks for being one of the bestest friends I had.

"Babe." I heard her voice and it made me wanna crumple the paper on my hand. "What is this?" She laughed, looking around. There were no people.

I looked up to see her expression. Thinking about what's gonna happen later on, I wanted to just stop myself from doing it. And it made me feel a little bit guilty.