The Trouble With Us

twenty

Olivia's P.O.V.

It has been two days. Two, excruciatingly long days. The pain I feel grows by the minute, and it's more than a challenge to keep my eyes open for I have not slept, at all. I have not left my room, except to use the bathroom. Thankfully my mum brings food to me, even though I'm eating like a sparrow. Dad comes in every now and then to check in on me. Both of them are feeding off of my pathetic lies:

"I'm just tired."

"I just feel sick."

"I just want to relax."

And the list goes on. I have shut myself away from the outside world, social media included. I haven't heard the specialised ding of my phone notifying me when Harry has texted me; however, Katie has sent me plenty. I don't have it in me to reply, I don't have it in me to do anything. As I lay in bed staring longingly at the ceiling, I daydream of the days when life wasn't so complicated. Being a seventeen year old is difficult. It is that phase in life when you have no idea what you're going to do after graduating from school, influencing your parents to be a worried, annoying mess as they constantly remind you to 'start looking for options'. It is that phase in life when you are pressured by your parents to get a part time job so you can start paying for some of your expenses. It is that phase in life when adulthood comes crashing down on you: taxes, bills, rent, licenses, registration, university and more f*cking taxes. It is also that beginning phase in life, when you start to crave companionship from someone, whether it be boy or girl. It is not like the movies, it's hard, and it sucks.

I was never interested in boys or the idea of sex. I always believed that it is a very grown up thing to deal with. I didn't need that type of stress in my life, considering I can look forward to it for the next eighty years or so. The thing is, I never knew I was capable of the emotion, 'love'; especially for a boy. I always feel like I'm to young to know what 'love' is, I've always had a silly fear of older people laughing at me and mocking me, telling me I'm too young to love someone. But then there is Harry. The first time I saw him that night at the party, standing in the same atmosphere as him, breathing the same air, a new emotion flooded my senses; and I knew that it was love.

Over the past two days I have realised that it's time to get over him. Like I have always believed, I have time to love someone in the near future. I am sick to death of making my world revolve around him when he literally does not care about me in that way, it's always been that way for me with boys.

I delve in and out of sleep for the rest of the day and try to focus on a bucket list for the holidays to complete with Katie. I decide to text her, be strong, and slowly crawl out of my cave of sorrow.

Harry's P.O.V.

It's been two days. To long as f*ck, painstakingly slow days. My mind is on nothing other than Olivia. Her bright, big, icy blue eyes taunt me, every second of every hour, reminding me of the obvious pain I caused her. My parents check on me every so often, but I turn my back on them and convince them that I'm touching up on research for my upcoming job. Ever since I saw Olivia, she has simply corrupted every thought of mine. She makes her way into every dream I have, every aspiration, every wish and every plan for my future. She is the missing piece of my puzzle, and I must complete it.

When we grew up together she was the closest thing I had to a sister. Never in a million years would I picture having growing feelings for her, which are becoming stronger by the second. When I switched schools, I became a bit reckless with girls. I was introduced to new habits, particularly bad ones. It took me a while to find my own place in school. As a stereotype I was immediately placed into the 'cool baseball group' which supposedly had all of the girls basically giving themselves to us. At first, I thought life couldn't get any better. I was at parties every weekend, a different girl every week. It was fun, but it got old over a few years time; as I matured, I wanted something deeper. I craved for something more, but every girl I saw as far as the eye can see wanted nothing more than a one night stand.

When my parents told me we were moving back, I felt relieved. A new change despite it being my old home, was exactly what I needed. However, I had forgotten all about Olivia. Zach and I kept in strong touch for the first year after moving, but then the interest in being in each other's lives slowly faded each day; we were both too busy to notice. I never new Olivia had a crush on me all those years, to hear it now is quite astonishing. When I saw her that night, when I finally realised who it was, I was utterly gobsmacked. She has grown into a beautiful, kind and strong young woman, I was suddenly intrigued.

Unfamiliar feelings surged through me and I realised I begun to want - no, NEED things that I never would have thought possible. I needed her. Whether it be sooner or later, I need her to be my final puzzle piece. She brought me so much happiness up at the waterfall. Not the happiness of pleasure with some random girl in bed, the type of pleasure where you truly enjoy yourself with a genuine person. She made me double over in laughter, I was suddenly hooked on her whole self.  

But, I've hurt her. Not intentionally, it's all a big misunderstanding just like the night of the party, so I need to make it up to her big time. It tore me down to hear her upset, I refuse to let her be upset ever again.