The Trouble With Us

seventeen

Olivia's P.O.V.

It's been at least an hour and Katie an I have drunken two bottles of bitter, awful, wine. But for some reason he is still in my head.

"Get out of my head." I whine.

"You know what you should do?" Katie slurs, "call him."

I think about it for a bit, well I try to. I think I might. This sounds like a bloody good idea. I'll give him a piece of my mind.

"Okay, I will. Give me my phone." I giggle.

"Here," Katie says while handing my phone over, "but try not to cry, just sound really angry, you don't want to sound weak."

"Okay." I murmur.

I scroll through my contacts until I find 'Giraffe Legs'. I take a deep breath and call. It rings for a few seconds, and then goes straight to message bank.

"He didn't answer." I groan.

"Call again, if he doesn't answer, leave a message." she slurs.

"Okay." I say for the hundredth time.

And just like the last time it goes straight to message bank, then I hear Harry's voice through the phone.

"Hi its Harry, leave a message and I'll get back to you as soon as I can."

BEEP.

I take a deep breathe in and begin, "Harry..."

Is the only thing I can get out before starting to tear up, and the emotion is laced in my voice. Katie is waving at me to hangup and not say anymore, but I'm over it and I want him to know that.

"Harry," I choke out, "you know what? You wanna know something pathetic? I like you. And I've liked you ever since I was eleven. Ever since you've called me 'little Livvie', ever since you've referred to me as a little sister. When I heard you were coming back I was over the moon. And then the party came and then I went out and bought this nice outfit JUST for you Harry. I put in my best effort to look nice for you because I thought I had a chance. That's why I was so upset too by the way, because I walked down the stairs and thought that you were going to kiss my best friend. The other day up at the waterfall? What was that about? I feel like we had a good time and then I get a text from some girl tonight off your phone who has sent me a picture of a naked girl on your lap! What the hell Harry! My brother was right, I should have stayed away from you. You sucked me in and have spat me out. I feel embarrassed and humiliated because I thought maybe there could have...could have been a chance between us or I don't know, I sound f*cking stupid and now here I am at lord knows what time in the morning calling you because I hate you and you've made me a very fragile person Harry. Am I just another toy for you to play with? Because I don't want to be, so don't bother talking to me ever again."

I hang up and bang my phone down onto the table. The tears won't stop flowing down my cheeks, I feel like tearing my hair out.

"Liv, its alright, everything will be okay." Katie says as she wraps her arms around me.

"Pour me another drink." I whisper.

"I don't think that's a good idea..." Katie sighs.

"Please..just please." I beg.

Katie gives in and pours me another glass full of rum and coke.

"Thanks." I mutter, whilst throwing my head back and engulfing it all at once.

"Lets go to bed?" Katie whines.

"Yes." I murmur.

As soon as my head touches the pillow I feel nothing but numbness. Its nice. I search for Katie's glow in the dark clock on the wall and notice that its 5:00am in the morning.

"That's just great." I mutter.

I look across the bed and see that Katie is already asleep, so I try my hardest to fall asleep too.

***

"Liv..."

"Olivia, wake up. It's 10:30am."

I slowly open my eyes to see Katie leaning on her side facing me.

"I feel disgusting." I moan.

"Me too." she sighs.

"What happened last night?" I frown.

I'm trying to recall what happened but my head hurts to think.

"You mean...you don't remember a thing?" she gasps.

"Why did you just gasp," I ask curiously, "what did I do Katie."

"How can you not remember? You called Harry and left him a voice message after seeing that picture and-"

"WHAT DID I F*CKING DO? I CALLED HIM?" I shout in horror.

"Yes! You told him about your crush! About everything! You must be joking about not remembering something like this Liv, surely not." Katie frowns.

"Please be joking." I say, trying to keep calm.

"You must have had a lot to drink to not remember that..." Katie murmurs.

This can't be happening. There is no way that I drank to the point that I would have grown the confidence to call Harry and confess my feelings to him. I jump out of bed and search my bag for my phone. When I find it, I search through last nights call history and fall onto the bed when I see two calls to Harry from me.

"I am so embarrassed Katie!" I shriek.

"Maybe he hasn't listened to it..." she suggests.

"Umm who cares? He will sooner or later. And when he does he's going to laugh at it and probably show it to the girl he slept with last night. You have no idea how humiliated I feel. Sure I'm angry about the photo and that's just a whole other thing to deal with, but calling him is pathetic. Please tell me I didn't cry...?" I ask, hopeful that she'll tell me I didn't.

But instead she looks away and stays quiet.

"For f*cks sake that is just f*ucking delightful isn't it. F*ck me sideways. When he wakes up - I assume he hasn't listened to it yet otherwise I'm sure he would text me right? - if not, he's going to have a nice little surprise to listen to. Then I'll have to face him and god knows what'll happen then." I ramble.

"Lets just hope for the best." Katie sighs.