"YUL"

Feel Good Drag

"I'm here for you", Jessica says as she caresses my cheek, "And we can stay for a while. My boyfriend's gone. We can just pretend." That's what we always do; pretend. At least three times a week for the past four months we have been.

Never the less I kiss her roughly. Her lips are so soft and familiar but still thrilling. I pull away from her and look into her dull brown eyes that seem to be begging for me.

"Now where do we begin?" I say with a smirk on my face. She grins at me and shoves me against the wall.

I walk down the street after I leave Jessica's. I look at everybody; bored expressions, families, the occasional smiling couple. Part of me wonders if these couples I see are actually happy, or if they are in the same situation as me. Everyone in this town could be seeing someone else for all I know. Everyone gets tired of each other eventually, and then their eyes wonder. At least that's what happened to Jessica the first time she walked into the café that I work at.

I can't help but wonder if I'm getting bored of Jessica. All these months I've spent sneaking around with her; the routine is getting so dull. What's so appealing about Jessica anyway? I mean, she's hot as hell, but what else is there? From what I've seen she has the personality of burnt toast; we don't talk about anything (besides ).

What is the real reason I like Jessica so much? Is it because I know seeing her is wrong? That thrill I get when she's on the phone with her boyfriend, telling a million lies to him, trying not to while I kiss and bite her inner thighs? Is it the high I get from knowing I'm doing something that's completely unacceptable? Did it really matter?

I shake my head. I could find someone who would treat me good, someone I had things in common with, someone I wouldn't have to hide my relationship with. Honestly, it's pretty ridiculous how badly I want to go on a real date with someone; it's been so long.

I'd just love to take a cute girl to dinner, to the movies, to the mall, ing anywhere! I'd love to relax and fall asleep with her in my arms after rather than me getting kicked out as soon as we're done. I want to have a full conversation with her, laugh with her. I want her to stay the night at my house so I can make her breakfast in the morning.

What I want more than anything is to actually go on a few dates and everything just kind of, you know, lead up to . I don't think anyone knows what I'd give for a cute girl to do those things with me. But I can't just-

My thoughts are cut off when I run into someone. Whatever they were carrying fell, and it looks like they're on their way down too. I quickly grab their waist to stop them from falling.

I catch them and look to see who the hell I am now holding. My eyes fall upon one of the most beautiful faces I have ever seen. I lock eyes with her. My heart is racing and I have no clue what to do now.

"Oh my God!" She says with a very strong American accent. She pulls away from me. Her accent quickly disappears as she begins to speak in Korean. "I am so sorry! I really wasn't looking where I was going at all." She bends down and begins to pick up her spilled groceries.

I bend down and start putting them in one of the bags, "Hey, don't be sorry. I was the one not looking at where I was going." I reach for a container of strawberries that had fallen and she does the same; our hands brush against each other for a second. I pull my hand away fast and laugh nervously, "Heh, sorry..."

She stands up with most of her groceries in her bags again. However a few apples, a carton of eggs, and a jar of preserves weren't salvageable. I stand up, too and look at her again. My heart is pounding like crazy. I scratch the back of my neck nervously, "Hey... I'm... uhm... I'm really sorry about your food..." She smiles at me. Oh God... that smile... My heart completely melts.