Pressure [hs au]

3 - Malapropos

Word count: 3175

"Abby! Hi!" Jason smiles brightly, pulling me in for one of the tightest hugs I've ever had. The second he grabs me I come to my senses, closing my mouth and hugging him back.

"Hey, what is all this?" I ask, a nervous knot forming in my stomach. Looking into his room makes me want the throw up. 

All the lights are dimmed, there's blankets in the center of the living room floor, and he has to have twenty some candles surrounding all of the blankets on the floor. I glance over to Jason, who is just smiling wildly at me. 

"You know this is a major fire hazard, right? And Candles were actually on the list of things we shouldn't brin-" I get cut off by Jason forcefully pushing his lips onto mine. 

My eyes shoot open, watching him carefully shut the door with one hand before he blindly starts walking backwards towards the blankets. What was his plan for tonight if he wasn't going to break up with me?

Maybe he still will, and this is all some great good bye plan? God, I am so freaking confused. I kiss Jason back lightly, with not nearly as much passion and effort as he is kissing me with. 

I close my eyes, very uncomfortable. He is my boyfriend still, kissing him should feel normal. Right? The knot in my stomach doubles in size and I put my hands on his shoulders, gently pushing him away from me to break the kiss. 

"What? What's wrong?" He asks, immediate concern covering his features. I shake my head, I'm too confused to think straight. 

"Nothings wrong, I'm just- I don't get what's going on right now. This is so unlike you, I mean I love the candles, but I  just..." I trail off, letting my hands fall to my side.

"I just wanted tonight to be special." He says, looking down at his feet. 

Oh no. No, no, no, no, no. I grab either side of his face gently, tilting his head back up so he could look me in my eyes. 

"This was all really sweet, I'm just confused why tonight?" I say softly. I am the worst person in the world. I want my boyfriend to break up with me so bad, but here I am,  freaking kissing him a minute ago!

Jason lets out a deep breath, grabbing my hands with his and dropping them between us. I raise my brow, waiting for him to explain something.  

He takes several steps backwards again, sitting us down in the middle of the blanket pile. He went through so much effort for tonight it seems like. Well, it's a lot of effort for Jason. He never breaks the rules, hence why I feel like I might throw up right now. 

"I asked you over tonight because I have something I need to tell you." He says, grabbing my hands in his again. God, he is really building the suspension up. I would never tell him this, but the way he is holding my hands right now is so uncomfortable. 

Reason number 512 why I am a horrible girlfriend; I'm not big on holding hands. Which Jason is completely in love with the idea of hand holding. Oh shit. No, no, no, no,no. He is going to say he loves me, isn't he. 

"I'm not expecting you to say anything back to me, I just want you to know, okay?" He asks, eyes wide. You could always tell when he was nervous if he had widened his eyes, just a little bit more than normal. 

I feel like that is such a minuscule detail to point out, but I've been dating this boy for 5 years, and had been friends with him ever since he moved next door in second grade. He, Val, and I were inseparable ever since then.

"Abigail Elizabeth Winters, I love you." Shit. I see a glass of, hopefully, water and instantly take it, drinking it quicker than I should have. On the last sip, I choke, coughing on the water. I thankfully don't spit anything up, but Jason started patting my back.