Pressure [hs au]

7 - Senseless

Word count: 3272

If anything did get better in the morning, it sure didn't feel that way. It started storming over night and it was still raining now. I woke up around 7 am and everything felt numb. First thing I did was take a shower. But really I just sat under the hot water for who knows how long before I was actually able to stand up and wash my hair. 

I was now sitting on my couch in my towel, watching TV. I knew I had to get ready and go out in the rain to get groceries or something, but Keeping Up With The Kardashian's  was captivating my attention. So what if I have another lazy day. I deserve it, right?

I've told myself a million times that it's okay, I was going to break up with him anyways, but it still hurt. 

Part of me thinks I dreamt all of yesterday. It seems impossible that he would cheat. Not only did he cheat, but I caught them. I cringe at the thought again.

Of all the ways to cheat, he chose one of the things we hadn't done because "it's too dirty and gross." Fucking vanilla lying bastard. 

Inhale, exhale, calm down. Okay, I'm okay.

Maybe I just won't go out today. I grab my laptop off the coffee table and search food delivery services near me. I order a pancake meal thing from some breakfast place named with an egg pun, something like 'That's All Yolks!' I think, and set up Portillo's to deliver a caesar salad at 1. Thank god someone created grub hub. 

Once my transactions goes through, I set my laptop back on the coffee table, and lay on my side. Sitting up straight is for people who have their lives together.

Some commercial about pills for something starts playing and my phone vibrates. I pick it up off the floor, seeing Jason's name popping up. Nope, not today. I clear the notifications, and lock my phone, setting it back on the floor. 

He probably wants to talk again. Last night he said something about needing to 'explain', but I don't think he has much to explain. I caught him cheating and then I broke up with him. What else needs to be said? 

My ringer then goes off again, playing another obnoxiously loud song. I yell incoherently at the sudden disturbance, angrily picking it up off the ground a second time. Valerie is calling now. I have half a mind to let it go to voicemail, but I know she will be pissed. 

"Hey Val." I sigh, greeting her calmly. I sit up on the couch, using one hand to hold my towel up.

"Abby, you need to tell me what the hell happened last night."

"What-Who?" I ask, only to be interrupted instantly, "Jason came to my room at 9 last night and he was crying. Crying Abby." She sounds so angry at me. I didn't do anything wrong!

"Did he say anything?" I ask, nervously biting my lip. If he lied to her, I wouldn't even know who he was anymore. I don't really know him anyways I guess, I mean I never thought he would cheat but there he was with her. 

"No, he was too busy crying on my shoulder. What fucking happened." She was fuming. Thank god she called me instead of coming down here. She has no right to be mad at me, she doesn't even know what happened between Jason and I. 

"You want to know what happened? Fine. I went up to his room last night and caught him in bed with some blonde chick, that's what happened Valerie. So if you want to point fingers and be pissed, that's fine, but not at me." I didn't even realize how loud I had gotten until I finished talking. I've never yelled at her before, only jokingly when we were hanging out. 

And why was he crying? He made the dumb decision to cheat anyways. 

"Abby, I- I didn't know, I'm sor-" I hang up the call before she can apologize. I'm just tired of being sad and tired of being mad, and hurt, and everything, but settling on being just a little more bitchy than usual is something I'm okay with. I just want to be numb and watch KUWTC like a normal teenage girl after a bad breakup.