Linstead One Shots

Mistake or Not? (Part 2)

                   

After pouring her heart and anger out during a brutal tongue lashing at Voight, Erin slowly made her way down the stairs and into the locker room. Immediately she noticed Jay sitting on the bench in front of his locker, holding an ice pack to his left cheek in one hand, and rubbing the back of his neck with the other. As soon as he caught sight of her, Jay quickly removed the ice pack from his face, and lowered the hand from his neck. Erin heard him breathe a long sigh as she approached him.

She soon found herself stood in front of Jay, wanting more than anything for him to hold her in his arms and tell her that everything was going be okay. She wanted to cry and fall apart in his arms as he held her, and wanted so much to just go back to her apartment, lie on the couch and fall asleep on his chest. But as much as she wanted that, Erin knew that there was no way that the elephant in the room would be deflated, before she provided and explanation- and more importantly- an apology.

"I'm sorry..." Erin's voice quivered as a single, lone tear fell from her eye and rolled down her cheek. Jay slowly lifted his head and starred Erin in the eye the best he could, despite his obvious injuries, which he had her father to blame for. "It's not your fault, Er..." Jay whispered, surprised that Erin could even hear the whisper. "Yes, it is." Her voice trembled as fresh tears threatened to spill from her eyes. Jay saw this as he watched the sadness in her bloodshot eyes. His heart dropped to the floor and shattered into a million little pieces as he watched another single tear fall from her eyes, followed by more streams of wet tears which fell swiftly onto the floor below her.

Jay cautiously wrapped his pained hands around Erin's waist, and brought her towards him slowly. He was careful not to alarm her, and at the same time he paid close attention to his wrist, which he sprained as he tried desperately to get out of Voight's grasp just a few minutes ago. Much to his relief, Erin did not wince or fidget once as Jay slowly pulled her into his lap, and wrapped his arms around her tightly and protectively.

All the hatred, anger and sorrow that Erin felt at that moment simply melted away as soon as she was pulled into Jay's chest. Her heart filled with warmth as she nestled her head into the crook of his neck, where it belonged. No where in the world did she feel more safe than in arms of her lover. Erin knew at that moment that if it were up to her, she would stay like that- cuddled in Jay's chest with his arms protectively around her- forever. So they sat like that for a few minutes, neither of them wanting to break the comfortable silence. But both knew that words had to be spoken, and that this wasn't just something that would go away if they tried to ignore it.

"I'm sorry I got you into this mess, Jay." Erin spoke softly, as a dry tear fell from her blood-shot eye, and stained Jay's already blood-soaked shirt. "Shh...its okay. Don't be sorry, Er. It'll all be alright. Don't worry about Voight, he doesn't know what he's saying. I might not be the world's greatest father to our future child, but I know that you, Erin," Jay took a small break to wipe the tears off Erin's cheek with his thumb, as she was obviously touched by his words. "...are going to make the world's best mother. And that goes without say." He planted a soft kiss on her cheek, as she nestled her head deeper in his chest.

His words melted her heart. But as much as she wanted to believe that the words Jay spoke were true, she knew that he might've just been saying that to make her feel better. Because no way did she think that she was going to be anything even close to Mother of the Year, judging on the way that her own mother raised her. Then it occurred to her, and the thoughts and fear came rushing in.

What if she became like her own mother? What if Jay left her because he couldn't take being a father anymore? What if Hank shows up at their door one night, and takes things too far with Jay?