Linstead One Shots

All I Had (3x23)- Final

He pulled up into the driveway of his home and parked the car in their small driveway. He walked to the passenger side of the car and opened the door, taking the flowers from the seat into his hands.

Halstead felt an overwhelming amount of emotion flood over him as he entered his home. It was clear to anyone who entered that home, that there were mourning people within the rooms. The atmosphere was just off, and the aroma was stale from the house not being cleaned in a week. Cleaning was the last thing on Erin's mind. She hadn't left their home since that day, other than taking Ryan to daycare or going to work. Jay felt so useless, and it tore his heart out that she refused him to help her.

He made her breakfast and coffee every morning and brought it to her bedroom so that she wouldn't have to leave her room, because she feared that she would cry in front of their young son. He volunteered to take Ryan to daycare on the days where she was too tired or too emotionally drained to even get out of bed. He even kissed her forehead every night as she slept. He was doing everything he could, but nothing worked. Nothing seemed to ease the slight awkwardness between the young couple that was born the moment they found out about Justin's death.

He just hoped that the flowers, along with a long emotional speech, would bring them back together. He would give up almost anything in his life just to have her speak one word to him. He wanted to know how she was feeling; he wanted to know how to help her.

He couldn't just stand by in the shadows as she cried herself to sleep every night, or show fake smiles to their son, or shut him out. If he wanted to make their current situation better, he knew it started with him helping Erin first.

He quietly peeked his head through the door of their bedroom, where Erin lay fast asleep. Her back was facing his, so he walked to his side of the bed and sat down, careful not to wake her. He starred at her for a few minutes, before building the courage to wake her from her slumber.

"Hey, baby." Jay whispered as Erin stirred awake. "Hmm...what?" Erin replied sleepily, as she rubbed her eyes and sat up in bed. "I brought you these." Jay smiled as he sat closer to her on the bed. Erin starred at the beautiful bouquet in her husband's hand. "Jay, for God sake, it's almost midnight. Why on earth would you bring me flowers?" Jay couldn't help but feel a bit hurt that his wife did not appreciate the flowers right away, but he was going to show her how much he loved her.

"I bought them because...I feel bad for not being here for you when you needed me these last couple of days. I've been trying my best, but its hard for me too, seeing you like this, watching you struggle..." Tears welled in Jay's eyes as he spoke. He tried to meet Erin's gaze, but she was obviously avoiding it. She knew that one looks in her husbands tear-filled eyes, and she would lose it.

She tried. She had been trying for days to stay strong, for herself and for those around her. She feared looking weak in front of the one she loved. She knew that she had to stay strong, no matter what she wanted to feel. No matter how much she wanted Jay to hold her, that she couldn't have that. She had already lost Justin, she didn't want to lose Jay, too. Her attempts at staying strong were obviously failing, as she found herself crying as she heard Jay speak.

Jay's heart broke as he starred into his wife's glassy eyes. He knew exactly what she was doing. Even though she was keeping her eyes hidden, he could still see the pain and struggle in his wife's brown eyes. He knew that she was trying to stay strong, that she felt incredibly vulnerable, and didn't want Jay to notice it. It broke his heart that she was trying to keep her emotions hidden- he knew where that ended up.

He had struggled for years with his own emotions, for the same reason Erin was hiding hers. He didn't want to look weak in front of the one's who meant the most to him, and so he concealed his true feelings and replaced them with fake strength. Strength he didn't have because he refused to let anyone in. Jay wouldn't let that happen to Erin, and so he knew that he needed to help her, that he needed to make her see that she needed him.

"It's okay...you don't have to be strong anymore..." He whispered as tears poured out of his eyes and flowed rapidly down his cheeks.

At once, all attempts to stay strong were forgotten, as Erin fell apart. Jay held her as she sobbed in his arms, his heart shattering for the broken girl in his arms.

It had taken Jay years to get Erin back to the way she used to be before Nadia died. Loosing Nadia was the last straw for her, and Jay feared that the woman he fell in love with would never be the same.

But he fixed her with his love. The strong detective that Jay devoted himself to rehabilitating after she fell too far down the rabbit hole, seemed to be slipping away as she sobbed herself to sleep in his arms.

Jay knew that he would do it all again. He would do whatever it took to fix his wife. He hated standing by watching her life fall apart before his eyes. It was time to change that, it was time to change her.

ONE YEAR LATER

One year ago today, Erin never would've imagined her life would be what it was right then. She hadn't expected Jay to stick by her side through coping with Justin's death, as Voight was not there for her when she lost Nadia. She simply thought that she was going to left alone to cope with her half-brother's loss and raise their boy on her own. But that's not what happened at all; in fact, it was the complete opposite.

Erin could never repay Jay for what he did for her. The long nights spent crying herself to sleep, the times where Erin accused him of not being there for her, and every little thing in between. He stuck by her through all of it. Losing Justin brought her and Jay closer together, it made her realize just how much he loved her- not that she ever questioned it before.

The curve ball that was throw their way, proved how far Jay would go to prove his love for Erin, and for their son.

Shortly after they lost Justin, the Halstead family welcomed a baby girl, who they named Charlotte Justine. Erin decided that since their son's name honoured Voight, that she wanted their daughter's name to honour Justin's. She wanted to name the baby after him, but after she discovered that she was carrying a girl, her and Jay decided that compromising would be the best option.

That was another one of the many times where Jay was always there for her. He was her rock; she didn't know what she would do without him in her life. Erin would be forever grateful that he stayed by her side. She knew that she was a lucky woman to have him as her husband, and that her children were lucky to have such an amazing man as their father, but it always puzzled her.

She often wondered how a guy as amazing as Jay, would want a broken girl like her. Now sitting in their backyard with Charlotte in her arms, watching Jay play hide-and-seek with Henry, it occurred to her why he married her. Why he chose her, why he wanted her and no one else.

Because he loved her. And he would always love her. He watched her go through the best time of her life, and he watched her struggle through the hard times, and he loved her the same regardless of the situation. It proved that Jay would love her even at her worst. A tragic event made Erin realize that no matter what, she always had Jay to catch her when she fell.

Losing Justin brought the two closer, and it gave them their baby daughter. It was truly a silver lining ending.

A/N might be a while before I update again. Have a few things in the works and not sure which one to upload first. Next update might not be until late next week. Thanks for your patience!

Thank you for all your reads, votes and comments, they really help :)