Letters I will never send...

Entry 1

I don't know when it started. The smiles became more forced, the tears more frequent, and more and more nights spent lying awake. "I'm fine" and "I'm just tired" became words that slipped so easily, I could almost believe them, but they're all lies. I'm not fine. Yes I am tired, but it's so much mote than that. I am just tired. Tired of faking a smile. Tired of hiding the tears. Tired of acting like it's all ok, when I can barely keep it together. Tired of disappointment. Tired of being a disappointment. I'm tired of being me.
I wasn't always this way... I used to be happy. Truly happy. I was the chatty, lively, full of sunshine little girl that everyone adored. I had it all, but I know better know. I've been through things I wish I hadn't and trusted people I shouldn't have. I've been picked up again and again only to be shattered when they grow bored of me. That's what I am.
Shattered. Hurt. Broken.
So I'm sorry that I'm not optimistic about things and I dot see the world like you do, but it's hard to see the pretty picture when you're looking through a broken lens..
-- Luna