Double Sided ( Dan Howell X Reader )

Chapter 1

** TRIGGER WARNING IN BOOK **

You were walking home from the first day of school. You always had dreaded school before. You never had any friends really, except for a few. Their names were Elizabeth ( also known as Lizzie ), Holly, Shelby, Logan, and Dan. Even they didn't really care about you. Besides Dan. Dan was different. You had had a crush on Dan for a while, but it was gradually getting worse and worse. Same thing about your depression. A Lot of things may have caused it, as you therapist put it, you have an adjustment disorder, depression and anxiety from that as well as genetics. No one really knew about your depression. You had recently left a group of "friends" with Maggie, Tessa, and Allison, and was loosing them very fast. You had gotten into multiple arguments with Allison. Most of which about your depression. She was one of the only people that knew and was going to know from what you could see, for she had called you "dark and creepy".

As you were walking home you ran into Tessa. She always acted like a mental ill person. But not like you. Like the mental ill that go around in their house waving their arms around and screaming "I SEE COLORS!!!" at the top of their lungs.

"HEY (y/n)!!!!" she screamed, "Wanna walk home together and play in the basement??"

"Tessa, we are in 12th grade. I'll be fine. But since when do we even go in the garage anymore?" You replied.

"Oh, ok..." She said sadly, walking away with her head hung low.

It never failed to make you feel way worse about yourself when you turned her down. She just didn't understand though! She never would. The group of friends you had left were some of the happiest people you had known. After you left, you realized how much more people must have hated you, seeing how stupid they acted. You just didn't see how that could be possible, people hating you more than they already do.

You went home, your parents weren't there of course, because they usually stay out very late. You liked the solitude though. You ran into the house, throwing your bag across the room, ran to the bathroom and collapsed onto a moving heap of sobs and tears on the hard floor. Once you had stopped crying a tad bit, you reached under the sink, under a bottle of pine-sol that was forgotten about, and pulled out your blade. You drew the lines while sobbing out in pain. You put the blade down and looked at your hips and how terrible they looked. Then, you heard a knock at the door!