The Bastard I Hate

Chapter Eleven

"I-- You're? Leaving? I mean... Was it like six months too? Did you also apply to be an exchange student?" she asked without pause. And the tense on her voice is too obvious.

"You rolled your eyes--"

"What then?" she cut him off.

"Ace, let's cool down tonight and do this tomorrow, how about that?" he suggested.

"Are you breaking up on me?" she asked. She can't breathe.

"No!!! WHAT THE HECK? You are mine," he answered irritably.

"Okay," she composed herself.

"Okay? Are you worried that I will?" he asked smiling. And she looked at him. She was suddenly afraid and vulnerable and she hates that feeling.

Spade's smile faded. She creased her brow and look to a different direction.

"Let's talk tomorrow," he ended. He kissed her on her forehead and started to walk away.

"Everything still stand, you know," she blurted and that made him stop from walking. "Once you realized that everything about me being your Ace is a bullshit, you can always quit. That's the whole purpose of me agreeing to this," she assured him with a smile.

I'm feeling it. I'm feeling it. I just give him the right to break me. He has all the capability of breaking me. Oh my God. I'm falling.

"Why the fuck are you crying?!" he cursed. You will hear the anger on his voice but his eyes were full of worries.

She blinked. She haven't felt it. She suddenly took one step away from him and wiped her tears.

"I- I don't know--" she panicked. "Let's talk tomorrow." She quickly walked out and ran into their house.

"Hey, Ace!" he called her.

"Tomorrow. Bye!" she bidded and closed the door. She lean on it and she tried to pacify her breathing. Luckily her father was upstairs.

"Umiiyak ka ba?" biglang tanong ng kapatid nya na nakapagpakibot sa kanya.

"H-Hindi," she denied and ran upstairs to go to the her room.

Nagvibrate ang cellphone niya.

*Bastard*

"Have it your way. Don't cry. I don't know what to say. I'm kind of new at guessing you. Sometimes, I get a good grip at you but sometimes, you're close off. Just remember, you can have it your way."

Natatakot sya. Natatakot sya sa nararamdaman nya. She doesn't want to be that vulnerable. But Spade, Spade was her beautiful fire. She suddenly dialed his number.

"Ace?" he answered quickly.

"I- I'm fine," she assured him. And the line was filled with silence.
.
.
.
.

No one is hanging up. She's feeling him breathing on the other line.

"I feel like a stupid firefly. And you are my fire. My beautiful fire," she started. "I- I'm...I don't know. You make me vulnerable with all this feelings. Don't you think we have to stop this?" she madly asked.

"Why?" he asked. Oh my God. He knew. Of course he knew.

"I-- Because I-- I feel like, I'm out of my safe zone," she confessed.

"And?" he asked again.

"What if you wanted to end this? And I'm too out of my safe zone? I'm just, I feel it, Spade. If we don't end this now, you will break me. You will break me. And I might not be able to redeem myself. If we don't stop it now, and I hold tight. I will hold you. I- I'm now afraid of you and your shenanigans. Y-You always said the right things and--"