The Bastard I Hate

Chapter Twelve

It has been a week. A week of 'No-Spade.' Nakatulala lang siya at walang ideya sa nangyayari. Halos mapasma na siya dahil hindi nya binibitawan ang cellphone niya. Paano kung bigla na lang tumawag si Spade. Siguradong magagalit yung pag hindi niya sinagot agad. She sighed. Hindi siya nagtatanong kay Seven o sa kahit na sinong alepores niya dahil sa pride. Siya ang girlfriend at siya dapat ang nakakaalam sa mga lakad nito. Pero ang totoo natatakot siya.

Isang linggo siyang asar na asar. Isang linggong walang Spade. Walang tawag. Walang text.

"Fuck!!!" sigaw niya ng ayaw kumabit ng stick na pinipilit niyang itayo as poste sa miniature blueprint na ginagawa niya. Isang linggo ng mainit ang ulo niya.

"Girl, chill ka lang. Walang kinalaman ang poste sa sudden disappearance ng hot mong boyfriend."

"Don't start with me, Keith," seryosong banta niya sa kaibigan sa sobrang inis. She's not appreciating humor this past few days.

"At lalong wag mo akong idamay sa init ng ulo mo sa boyfriend mo," pagtataray ng kaibigan sa kanya. She sighed. She decided to pick her project and transfer to a different table.

How dare him. I will seriously seriously end this once I saw him. I will never let him do this to me. Why do I care to a very unconsiderate human being who knows nothing but to be a pain in the ass?

Her phone suddenly rang.

*Bastard*

And because of so much hate, she decided to ignore it.

"I love you, Thedreis Leauria..."

She remembered him whispering those magic words in her ear.

"Fuck you," she cursed in gritted teeth.
She continue finishing her project while the phone kept ringing.

"Fuck off Fairsleigh," kausap niya sa telepono.

"You sound very angry," a familiar voice told her.

"I am!" she shouted on her phone and then she suddenly lift her gaze.

She's feeling all kinds of emotion. Happiness, Anger and Frustration.

"Spade..." she chanted, making sure she's really seeing him.

"The very man," he responded. She gritted her teeth and throw her phone at him. "Hey, young lady," saway nito.

Nasalo naman nito ang cellphobe niya. "I will seriously not replace this---" he stopped because the only woman he love was in tears.

"How dare you! You unconsiderate bastard!" she cried.

"Hey..." he cooed her and quickly went to her. He wrapped her in his arms. "We are hopeless," he murmured.

"What?!" she asked. She's trying to get away from him and punching him.

"I tried to be away from you for a week. We are so not going to survive it. I only lasted three days. I was hiding from you but I'm still trying to get a glimpse of you everyday after the third day. It was unbearable," he explained. "You can't be angry with me now if I experimented on this because you are the one leaving. It was actually some kind of a practice," he reasoned out.

That caught her speechless. Nararamdaman pa rin nya ang paghikbi. Pero pinunasan nya ang luha niya saka tinulak palayo si Spade para kumawala dito.

"We are really not going to survive it if we don't communicate. E yung ginawa mo, dinaig mo pa yung long distance relationship eh. At least sa LDR, nagtatawagan everyday. Nagsasabi ng nangyari sa buong araw. Nag--"

"I'm going to join the army," he spilled. Then there's the awkward pause.

"What?" she asked again. She heard it clear but she wanted to hear it again. She wanted him not to say the same thing to her.

"I passed the initial interview and the application. I'm joining the army," he smiled at her, trying to ease the tension. "What I did is basically for my leaving. We might not meet after your Japan Exchange Student privilege," he honestly explained. Sa hindi niya malamang dahilan, naramdaman niyang nanghihina ang tuhod nya. Madali siyang napaupo sa bench malapit sa puno kung saan niya ginagawa ang project niya.

"Why?" she asked. She knew that her question is kinda selfish but she wanted to know.

"It's my ultimate dream. I looked like I won't take anything seriously but I want to protect people. I want to protect you. I want to protect," he answered.

She swallowed, hard.

"I told you. I knew it," she laughed sarcastically.

"Knew what?"

"You're going to break me. And I'll love you anyway," she answered without hesitation.

"I'm not taking it as compliment," Spade snapped.

"You will break me. You will make me vulnerable and you're going to be my weakness. Remember, I'm a firefly and you're my lovely fire. Beautiful and warm," she cried.

"I remember telling you that but not you telling me that. And I'm actually the firefly and you're MY fire," he reminded her.

"Well, can it be vice versa to both of us? We are both the fireflies and the fire," she corrected him.

"Whatever that makes you happy," he commented to end the conversation.

"This is not about my leaving to your choosing the army right?" she asked in her hesitant voice.

"Nope," Spade answered thriftly.

"I cancelled the application," she confessed. She saw his brow creased.

"What?! WHY?" he asked loudly. She suddenly can't look at him. Shit. "What the fuck did you do Ace?" he asked again.

"You were suddenly gone. I thought that you're never going to come back and I can't leave without seeing you. And then when I told you I'll leave for a semester, you suddenly told me you're going to the army. And I can't leave. You know, you can't make me fall in love with you and then make me miserable, Spade! That's so unfair. Is this your revenge to me? I feel like I can give you everything but not the army. I can't. I--fuck!" She wiped her tears. And she started to cry. She covered her face with her handkerchief and palm. She's feeling her shoulder shaking.

"You cancelled your application because you thought that if you give it up, I'll give up mine?" Spade asked him in gritted teeth. His words were carefully spitted with anger and force.

"Just break me, Spade. Break me anyway you want. But not this way. You can't give me your death to break me," she begged.

"You're stronger than this. You are the strongest woman I know. So strong I feel like nothing's gonna break you. Not even me," he whispered.

"Well, you're wrong!" she shouted.

He sat next to her and removed her handkerchief on her blotched face. Spade looked at her with so much pride. "I chose you as my Ace because of your strength. You are my fire. Untouchable and warm and lovely. Someone who will keep me alive," he murmured on her ear.

"I feel like we haven't had our time and you're leaving already," she cried.

"Do you want to marry me first and spend six months with me before I leave?" he joked.

"I'll make sure you're going to give me a baby so I can make you stay," she talked back between sniffing. He smiled.

"I love you," he promised.

"I love you," she promised.

"I love you, Ace. The moment you punch me in the face. I knew it. I knew I will not survive a day without you," he whispered. She started crying.

"Can I hold on to that six months?" she asked. Because she knew, he's never going to change his mind. She can make him stay but she'll hate it.