The Focus Effect

Twenty-two

I hear helicopters in the distance. I can't think. This isn't the plan! That's all I know. This isn't the plan. The plan was that I'd escape with no one's help and no loss of life-that I would expose the program and everyone would get to go home. But now Doctor Sue is probably dead. But what if she isn't?

I stop.

What if she isn't?

Does it matter? There's nothing I can do about it. I have to clear my mind. Bob is gone. Jameson-I have no idea if he's okay. David, sweet David. He deserved better. What have I done?

Doctor Sue told me to head east. She knew she was sacrificing herself by giving me the antidote, an antidote I didn't need. I didn't have the chance to tell her. Now she's done what she thought was best. I turn around. I need to get this damned dog collar off my neck but it will take me awhile to do it. I need someplace safe. I know what I have to do. I need to stick to my plan. None of this changes anything.

I keep just inside the tree line and backtrack south to the perimeter wall and follow it around to the waterfall. Then I use the antigravity disc to float back inside the Vault and disappear behind the falls just as two helicopters streak by overhead, their search lights cutting like blades through the night. I'd wanted to find the hole above the cavern, but now that there are helicopters looking for my dead body, I can't take the chance on being caught out in the open. I wonder how long it'll take before Kingshire figures out he should have used his gun to kill me instead of the neurotoxin.

Removing the implant wasn't an easy decision. I wasn't sure if I'd be found out. I certainly didn't have any idea what removing it might do to me. It came down to choices, or the lack there of. It also had a lot to do with time simply running out. The way I saw it, it was act now or never.

I did it the day after Christmas, after seeing David's implant. Seeing his gave me the idea to remove mine. It turned out to be fairly easy, but it was time consuming. I ended up spending most of the afternoon and early evening locked in the privacy of the bathroom tinkering to get it out. It took less time when I removed David's implant. I took it out before I did anything else Kingshire expected me to do to him. I figured Kingshire would think I was hard at work trying to give David my abilities. All the good it did, though. I hadn't intended on making any significant changes to his body. I hadn't intended on some weird chain reaction giving him more than the silver markings. Why didn't the possibility at least occur to me?

The scenario I had envisioned had been to remove Doctor Sue's implant just before New Year's Eve. Then, while Kingshire was distracted with the business of his mission, the three of us could sail over the wall using the disc-free as birds. Then we would find the hole in the top of the cavern. Doctor Sue would confirm my theory that Kingshire's "detainment" center was deep underground because she had been there. It had almost killed me, she would tell me, and yes, that's where you'll find Jameson-if he's still alive. Of course, he would be alive because that is all part of the plan. I'd recover him, remove his implant and we'd all escape together and return with the cavalry to shut Kingshire down and save everyone else in the program.

I have a hunch that the people I heard in the cavern the night I dropped Bob's orb were prisoners. I don't know if this is true, but it feels right. Someone down there will surely know where to find Jameson. Then, and only then, will I follow Doctor Sue's plan and head east. I'll give myself an hour to find him.

And if this goes as well as the rest of my plan, I'll be dead by sunrise.

I know I'm being too hard on myself, but it is difficult when I have risked lives as a means to save them. Jameson's letter told me that people would have to die so that the rest could live. I don't know how, but I cling to the idea that he's wrong and that I've made the harder choices that will save lives-even if it's only by one.