LoVing Two

Unfamiliar Feelings

Waking up, I was bathed in bright lights, strange sounds surrounded me, I soon realised I was in an ambulance.
As my eyes adjusted, I noticed a man checking my pulse. I assumed he had given me an anaesthetic as my arm was unfeeling to his touch.

His eyes were like peridots, his hair like damp sand, his skin like parchment paper. His bulky paramedic jacket hid any chance of seeing his physic, though based on his face it was good.

Noticing I was awake, he sat back down, laying his hand on mine.
He watched me with sincere eyes, a look unfamiliar to me. I tried to sit up, but he motioned for me to stay down as I was strapped to the gurney. He glanced at my bruised arms, and I looked away, rebellious tears threatening to escape.

I had always hidden my emotions, my true thoughts and feelings never showing, never admitting to the tortures I endured daily, both mental and physical. Now they were out, my truths were out and I could never take them back.

He frowned, though it was not disapproving, rather worried.

I tried to remember what had happened before, but what I remembered didn't seem likely.
Suddenly, my body began burning, as if I were in an oven, I could feel the sweat forming on my skin, flashes of light were all I could see, my mind filling with empty thoughts.
I looked to the man for help, but he seemed unworried by my state as I became dizzy and tired.

Resting his hand against my cheek, he smiled sympathetically. "Everything's going to be fine, Gin."

After that, everything went black as I was sent back to sleep, unsure of what would happen next.

-

Sitting on my bed, my eyes burning as the tears poured out of them. My body aching from Dad's beating. Staring at my phone, the screen switched off, music blaring through my headphones and into my ears. I felt the warmth of my oil heater, as it slowly warmed my room.

My bedroom had originally housed the water heater before we moved it outside. The walls were not well built, so the room had terrible drafts during the winter, and gaps between the carpet, which lead to outside.

Fix You by Coldplay was serenading me, my eyes releasing a fresh stream of tears as I wished for a saviour.
The knife was heavy in my hand as I gripped it tightly, checking it was sharp enough.

I felt a shock through the entirety of my body, unable to pinpoint an exact location, and as a second, more painful wave hit me, I was thrown off the bed, dropping the knife. My head collided with the oil heater and I slowly lost consciousness, the music gently fading away.

-

Surrounded by blackness, still asleep, my mind going over the previous events again and again, trying to determine a probable cause for my accident, but none of sense came to mind.

I started to feel a burning running through my body. It was like the burning in your throat that comes from drinking alcohol, but it was as though it was in my blood. The pain began increasing until it soon became unbearable, like battery acid ran through my veins.

I had to scream, trying to release any pressure I could, screaming until my lungs ached, but it wasn't enough, so I tried to rip my skin open to let it out. I scratched and clawed until something held my arms down, I screeched and yelled but nothing helped, it just continued to get worse.

I felt something prick, then I was awake and aware of everything, realising the things holding me down were restraints attached to the hospital bed. A middle-aged nurse stood next to me, checking a bag of fluid attached to a tube in my arm, another bulkier one watched me from the corner of the room.