Finding the Pure Note

To Keep Me Above the Tide

Note: Slight sexual content in this chapter. These boys deserve it.

On the way down, Hunter explained what happened back at home. He spoke softly, lacking any hint of emotion in his voice. It sounded like he was repeating this for the hundredth time and he was on autopilot. I suppose, in a way, it kind of was like that for him. How many times did he replay it over and over again? I can only imagine what he was feeling as it was happening. I had a little more experience in these situations than him, but even that didn't make it any less traumatic. 

Hunter explained that dad was feeling a little better. He was talking to them, asking about Hunter and his upcoming game. Hunter didn't say as much, but I could picture it now, describing eagerly to dad how exciting and cool it was that their team was one match away from qualifying. Those were the occasions when Hunter was more like the Hunter I knew, brimming with life and acting his age.

"Mum had left to make some tea," Hunter murmurs as we descend the next flight of stairs. "I was just telling him about you. He wanted to know; he was sad that you weren't there." I gulp, cursing Hunter for adding on another dash of guilt. Just let the scales tip already, why don't you?

"I mentioned Fletcher," he says, and I notice how heavy each of his steps are, like lead in his feet. Our descent takes way longer than it should as we follow his pace. "He was happy. I mean, he coughed a lot, but that's not unusual, right?" I nod. "Anyway, mum wasn't back yet, and dad closed his eyes, and I thought he had gone back to sleep. Then... then the machines started beeping like crazy. I freaked and screamed for mum. I remember smashing glass—that's weird right, I thought that was a thing in the movies—I mean people don't actually drop what they're holding right?—and dad... Dad looked so peaceful. I... I was crying, hopeless, and mum looked like she wanted to cry, but she didn't. She was super calm, and s-she called the paramedics. They kept telling us he would be fine—mum was saying t-that even... even before they arrived, and I had to hold on to her words, but I... I knew they were bullshit."

We stop at the foot of the stairs, staring now at Hunter. During that all, Hunter's voice had continually cracked, shards falling, revealing the broken kid within, and now tears pushed their way through. I did something I normally wouldn't have, and hugged him. I can feel his stiffness, but after a few seconds, he allows the closeness. He holds on tight, and I meet Fletcher's eyes. His smile gives me the strength I didn't know I needed until that moment. I wanted to give Hunter all I had, and more.

"Dad's gonna be fine," I breathe, squeezing my eyes shut as tears form.

"You promise?" 

His question is deathly quiet, and I almost don't catch it. I freeze, biting my lip. What can I say? Breaking promises is kind of what I'm infamous for.

"Yeah," I lie, loosening my now stiffened shoulders. Maybe I couldn't guarantee those words, but I could at least keep Hunter above the water.

Mum rises when she sees us, her eyes practically bulging from her sockets. They're so full of sorrow, of hope too, and as Hunter moves ahead of us, that hope seems to take over.

"I..." Hunter begins, trying hard to keep eye contact with mum. "I'm sorry for yelling like that. I'm just so..."

"I understand, honey," mum coos, pulling him into a hug. Her eyes press shut as she does, and she looks like she's choking him. I cough and her eyes blink open.

I chuckle. "I uh... I think you're strangling him."

"Oh?" Loosening her grip on Hunter, she releases him and lets out a smile she'd been holding in. "Thank you for talking to him, Clay. The days when you two got along," she sighs with a melancholic air. "You know, you used to play with him, hold him on your lap and even feed him sometimes. And, get this—"