Finding the Pure Note

Afterword

This was a passion project, a chance to expand my skills, do research into a world I know little about, and create characters that I am proud to call some of my best. I wanted to create a story about love, relationships, defying convention and finding one's purpose. These are pretty universal ideas, but they are so so important in finding out who we are. More than anything, this was a story about acceptance.

And acceptance is a delicate thing. The LGBTQI+ community is vastly underrepresented, though Wattpad does have a wide variety of such stories, which is a brilliant thing. I wrote Love From Darkness as a way of exploring my own feelings, born of anger, and with Finding the Pure Note, it's the next stage, the maturation, a way of saying, yeah, it's OK to be gay, but that doesn't define you. We're all messy beings who deal with our own shit. Love and acceptance of that love are so, so important, and too many find themselves in Clay's situation.

But then Clay had a heap of other problems to deal with, mainly the fact he seeks acceptance in other forms. He needs to fit in, to have a popular girlfriend and have 'cool' friends. He leaves his true friends behind, but rather than focus on that bitterness, his friends just want to fix things. They don't give up on Clay, and that's another idea I wanted to communicate strongly in this book.

Forgiveness.

In this world of being cancelled or shut out, we forget we are all flawed beings who can redeem ourselves. The fight can be as simple as an apology or one to make you work long and hard for it, but for however far Clay fell, there was hope for him. He didn't deserve to be left broken. Something inside him sought out an easy escape and that part needed to go when he saw he could find that joy and purpose from those he loves. Obviously, much of what happens in this book is fiction, yet there are grains of truth, aspects of my life, my struggle which serve as the inspiration for these events, the backbone of the core problem. Our pride and feelings of resentment hold us back, and I know that bitter sting all too well.

I want to clear up a few FAQs I've been getting from you guys, via comments and direct messages. While some of you do comment, I do have some silent readers who prefer to direct message, and that is more than fine. I am honoured that you are reading my story, let alone taking the time to message me directly with thoughts and even to say something nice. To discuss how this story resonates with you. It really does mean a lot.

Note: these questions have been rewritten in a more formal manner.

Q. If Fletcher has Tourette's, why do you stop using expletives and inserted phrases periodically throughout the story?

It seems like I'm just being lazy or forgetful. After all, the first half of the story features Fletcher swearing and such every other line. And then it stops. But then, interestingly, it picks up again. With an astute eye, you might be able to see the reason for that. Clay always sees the flaws in others, even people he likes. The one exception being Fletch who he has loved for so long and has lived with and accepted Fletcher's Tourette's from early on. He took on to the changes in Fletch fast and just accepted it, moved on. Part of why Fletch fell for him so hard, to have that kind of unjudgemental, unconditional acceptance. After splitting from him for a while, they become quite noticeable and even as their bond is reforged, it's not like he just doesn't hear the tics at all. But when his feelings for Fletcher are strong, his love shining through, he notices the tics even less. Obviously, it's still there, but it's like it kind of just slips into the background. This was intentional. A narrative technique if you will. And when they got into a fight, Clay would notice it more strongly. It was a really fun aspect, and I'm glad I got to explore it.

Q. Do you play an instrument? How'd you know so many musical terms and things like the model of the guitar, etc.?

So this book does have a heavy focus on music, it's power and as a metaphor for life, but no, sadly I am not a musician, though I have always wanted to be one. I suppose, in a way, this is kind of like wish fulfilment. Clay is the me I wish I could be, in the sense that he has a friend (an adorable gay one at that) who loves him to death and is amazing with singing and playing the guitar. But more than that, I wanted Clay to have this driving force that defined him, redeemed him. Music is his life, and it is in exploring that he could grow and understand. But to answer the question more directly, I just did a lot of research. It's hard. The musical world is vast, and I'd hate to think I misrepresented some aspects, so any musicians and such out there, if you see something that doesn't add up, let me know so I can fix it.