Finding the Pure Note

Our Hearts Are Linked

Dad's a fighter, always has been. He still has a mountain before him, and we'll be with him every step of the way. That's the least we can do. If that means biting the bullet and answering questions about school, I'll keep the old man sated. But seriously, school is school. Nothing interesting ever happens. The only exception to that rule is Fletcher, and yeah, school isn't such a bore when you strut the halls holding the hand of the boy you love. We get looks, some pointed, and yeah, some taunts. They don't crush us. After all, I've got a pretty damn good role model proving each day that the worst life can throw your way can be thwarted, one day, one smile at a time.

Everything's an adjustment period, and it took a few tries to work up the courage to kiss Fletcher in front of dad. God... Let's just say that felt more nerve-wracking than kissing in front of a stadium of thousands, that's for certain. Guess I gotta try that out one day, though. And I will. I know it.

But his grin was infectious, and my Rockstar dad overcame his bigotry, trampled it right in the dirt, and brought us in for a group hug that lasted way past the point of awkward. It's a definite step-up.

Something that always nagged at me... no guitar. Not just the general shame of letting dad down—that he had to remind me a thousand times each time he saw me that it isn't the end of the world and there are no hard feelings. Dad's awesome, but I'm gonna need more time to process that one. But no, the lack of a guitar was suckish in a lot of other ways as well.

No guitar meant no strumming along to my own beat, no filling the walls with the sweet chords, and no gig at The Mare. Not like Graham was gonna supply the goods, so yeah, he had to let me go. Wasn't a parting to write home about—just a quick pat on the back, and he smacked his lips together in a sorrowful way. I was a good entertainer, I knew that much. I brought a pretty decent turnout and knowing that was enough proof to convince me I had a future in this field, that I would turn those seven, those twenty, to a hundred. A thousand. Tens of thousands. It's a hefty dream, but I've got the stuff to make it. Namely, the people lifting me up so I can't fall, can't settle for that excuse. I didn't think I deserved another chance after the shit I pulled, but life ain't like that. If we abandoned our best friends just because they fucked up, once, twice, maybe a couple dozen times... Don't know about you, but that sounds like the makings of a pretty dull-ass world.

I mean, look at me. I was this close to total shutdown. And now I'm in a place I'm happy with. I don't hate myself and I lift others and they lift me.

You know, becoming a popstar, icon, whatever is the end goal, and before that? Shit, I can't tell you. First exams, then clinging to Fletch for dear life so he doesn't leave me hanging high and dry. Maybe I don't need to have those answers—maybe I don't have an itinerary for the next five years. That's what's expected of me, and we all know I'm sick to death of expectations. I only need to chase what makes me happy, keep that in mind and work hard. I'll get there. I'll—

Holy crap though! It really freaking sucks having no guitar. Music is my lifeblood, but I can't do jackshit to afford another one if the prerequisite to sticking a job at The Mare is not just a lovely voice but instrumental accompaniment... Maybe I can play the triangle...?

Get a job? I tried. Mum shut that right down. Not this close to exams.

I'm a whiner. No surprise. No guitar, no music... Fletch and Chels never heard the end of it. Quiet study sesh? Time for me to bitch and mope about, slowly dying, devoid of that tender musical touch. Chelsea's tolerance level was shattered long ago, but one study period late Friday afternoon, she kicked me in the shin and actually moved tables. I looked to Fletcher, dazed, but he wasn't even looking my way. He just had this... intense look going on, like he was super focused. I know it well. It's his thinking face, the one where some masterminded scheme is slowly coming together.