What's wrong with me? (TVD fanfic)

"I can't do this"

I can’t do this. I don’t even look at Tyler like that how am I meant to tell him I’m having a baby and it’s his? He’ll hate me.

“Elle, you need to tell Ty he needs to know about this then you can make a decision together” Elena rubbed my back and spoke soothingly into my hair.

Tears threatened to roll down my inflamed cheeks and show the emotion I was hiding beneath my cold exterior. I can’t have this baby. What would Damon think? Would he stay? He’s probably call me a slut and leave town or try and date Elena or something and that’d destroy me. I can’t lose him I love him too much.

“Lena, I don’t want to tell Ty or Damon about this I want to fix the problem now and forget about it ok? What happened to my arm? ” the sentence came out rushed and jumbled together thought Elena managed to give a gasp and throw me a confused look. Here comes the rant about how I shouldn’t go through with this and I made some drunken mistake.

“Elle baby, please don’t do this you’ll regret it. I know you love Damon I can tell by the way you look at him, but this is your child were speaking about and I don’t want you making a decision about its life just for Damon. You’ll regret it in the future when you think about the baby you could have had! About your arm we thought you’d broke it, but it turns out you just bruised it when you were banging into walls and falling on floors.” Damn she’s right I’d hate myself for giving my baby up and only dong it to please a boy! My arms killing me, why did I drink? Why am  I pregnant?

Three months pregnant…That probably explains why I’ve been emotional lately? Hm.  Though this pregnancy doesn’t really explain my rolling black outs? Maybe keeping this baby won’t be a bad idea maybe it’ll help me figure things out? A sweep of dizziness shook my body and caused me to fall to the side straight onto Elena’s lap. Instinctively I curled up and snuggled into Elena praying that she’d soothe me and play with my hair like she used to so I’d go to sleep and forget about this whole mess. Slowly I drifted off into a deep and beautiful sleep and dreamed of a perfect world where this child would be Damon’s and we’d be a family, obviously that’s not going to happen.

Hours must have passed by the time I woke up. My room was pitch black and there was no sign of Elena anywhere, for the first time in a while I felt truly alone. I’ve never been good when I’m on my own panic sets in and my paranoia comes out. Each breath I took was a struggle my lungs felt strained and my eyes couldn’t make out any shapes in the darkness. My first instinct was to shout and scream but I couldn’t a lump formed in my throat and I could do nothing more than make feeble attempts to shout which turned out to be whispers along the lines of ‘ Elena, help me’ or ‘Jer, Jenna, someone please’ but no one came.

Out of the darkness a figure appeared, one strangely familiar like Elena but slightly different? Her hair seems longer, more make-up has been applied. Maybe she’s got a date with Stefan and decided to shake things up a little?

“Elle I presume? Hm they were right you do look like her, maybe you’re a doppelganger? Oh well. Anyway listen to me. I need you to do something for me…” She yanked my head closer to hers and stared me straight in the eye. The rest Is a blur, why did Elena need to tell me stuff in the dark?

Lazily I crawled out of my bed and roamed around through the darkness reaching out to find the door knob and when I did I ran. Straight down the stairs, straight to Jenna and Jer who were sat in the living room watching 90210 as per usual.

“Jenna, Where Elena? She said she needed to speak to me?” For once in my life I actually asked Jenna a decent question and didn’t use sarcasm! Score!

“Elle, Lena told me what’s going on and I support you no matter what you choose but please think it through before making a decision. Plus Elena’s been gone since you fell asleep which was like six hours ago she’ll be back in about half an hour. Why don’t you watch this with us?” Despite the arguments me and Jenna constantly have when she’s nice to me she’s really nice and I can’t help but smile at her.

Jeremy moved to the side gesturing for me to sit beside him so I did. I leaned into his shoulder and closed my eyes, I’m exhausted for some strange reason? I sat still, thoughts rolling through my head the worries of being a possible teen mother seemed horrible…do I really want to be changing smelly diapers at 16? Honest answer is no, but I don’t have the heart to get rid of it, maybe adoption is the answer? Thousands of questions spiralled in my head. Fuck. If I slept with Ty like 3 months ago I must’ve had a gazillion drinks since then! Holy Moly what if I’ve damaged the baby?

“Jenna? Do you think you could get me a doctor’s appointment? I’m pretty worried about this little problem we have you know, since I was off my face the other day?” That came out a lot more casual than I planned I wanted to sound at least a little worried but no.

“I actually wanted to let you know that Elena and I thought it best we book an appointment because of this whole rebel stage with all the drinking. Meredith’s got you booked in for tomorrow at 2:30pm is that ok?” As much as Jenna annoys me I must admit she can read me like a book and is always a million steps ahead of me. Weird.

“Thanks Jenna! You’re coming with me right? I mean you don’t have to but if you wanted…” I was cut off by a loud shriek and Jenna nodding her head. Hm she must be shocked that I even asked.

My face lit up with joy, I’m glad I won’t be going alone! Tiredness got the better of me and in what seemed like seconds of Jenna speaking I was fast asleep on the sofa snuggled between them.

[Next chapters been wrote up its a bit weird but it makes sense haha stay tuned thanks for reading!]