Party Boy

False Feelings

The rest of the school week, I sat with Nico at lunch. The only downside of this was, afterwards, my cheeks always hurt because of how much he made me smile. It didn't matter what we were talking about, he made me grin like the Cheshire cat.

On Saturday, I gave into the girls' nagging and went shopping with them. I figured that while it was okay to say no, it didn't mean I should never hang out with my friends.

Plus, I had just gotten paid on Thursday for working at the local coffee shop, Bienvenue Bistro. I loved my job. It was a low-key, quaint place vaguely inspired by Paris. The customers were generally nice and I got discounts. Sometimes, it was stressful interacting with customers, but most of the time, it helped me unwind.

I arrived at the mall and went to the food court to meet my friends. Lila spotted me and waved me over. I was surprised to see a boy with her; I had almost forgotten neither she nor Lyn were still in the singles club with me. I was happy for both of them, but it made me feel a little lonely. It was just one more thing I couldn't relate to with them.

Lila hugged me as soon as I came near and gave a little squeal. "I'm so glad your here! I want to introduce you to Malcolm."

I looked up to give a small smile and wave to him. He was easily 6'4, probably taller. "I'm Ava."

The contrast between he and Lila was almost comical. He was over a foot taller than her; her face had mostly soft features, while his face was quite angular; and her pale complexion and long, light hair was the opposite of his dark skin and cropped hair. Despite this, possibly due to it, they looked adorable together.

"He plays soccer, too!" Lila told me excitedly. "And we both want to go to University of Denver. We could both play for the Pioneers. How cool is that?"

"That's awesome," I agreed. I thought it might be unlikely for both of them to be accepted, but I didn't want to be a downer, so I kept it to myself.

When Lyn got there, Lila kissed Malcolm goodbye and we explored most of the clothing stores as well as Bath and Body Works. I left with a few new shirts and smelling like Rainkissed Leaves.

~~~

When I got home, I checked my messages and felt a little thrill at the sight of Nico's name. When I read the text, I had the opposite reaction. My heart was in my throat and my stomach dropped.

I love you.

I tried to take deep breaths to prevent myself from hyperventilating. So far it was working, but it didn't lessen the flood of panic washing over me.

My head was racing with thoughts and each one ran into another, creating a jumbled mess of questions and concerns that I couldn't sort out. What does he mean he loves me? We've only know each other for a week. What does he expect from me? This is too soon. Will he be hurt if I don't have feelings back? I like him, but we just met. Will this ruin our friendship? Why would he say that? How can you love someone you barely know? Is this a joke? Why would he kid about that? I can't handle this. What am I supposed to say?

My phone buzzed and I attempted to push my thoughts aside and look at it. I struggled to read what it was displaying. I noticed that tears were gathering in my eyes and blinked them away so I could see clearly. I managed to type in my passcode and make out what the notification said. I had another text from Nico.

I'm so sorry. I didn't write that. That was just my brother being a dick.

I felt relief, but I was still shaken up. My hands shook and so did my breath as I typed my reply.

it's ok

I only see you as a friend.

same here

Anyway, how are you?

I was not in the mood for talking. All I wanted to do was lay down.

i'm not feeling too well. can i ttyl?

Of course. Feel better.

thx

My head ached and I felt nauseous.  For a brief moment I wondered if I was sick, but quickly I realized it was from barely avoiding an anxiety attack. I just wanted to sleep, but I knew I shouldn't skip dinner. I heated up some leftovers, ate as much as I could handle, then went to bed, despite the sun that had not yet set.