Party Boy

Parental Problems

I was sitting on my bed reading when my mom walked into my room, holding her cell phone to her shoulder. "Ava, your father wants to speak to you."

I didn't look up from my book. "If I wanted to talk to him, I would've answered one of his ten calls."

"Ava, please. Just give him a chance."

"Why should I? He didn't give me a chance," I replied bitterly.

"It didn't have anything to do with you."

"It had everything to do with me. He left as soon as he found out you were pregnant."

She sighed and rubbed her temples. "Ava, I'm not asking. Talk to him. It's important."

I rolled my eyes and grabbed the phone from her hand. "Hello?" I snapped into the speaker.

"Ava, sweetheart. How are you?" Just hearing his voice made me angry.

"Don't act like you care. What do you want?"

"Please don't be so hostile. I want to know how you are."

"I'm fine. What do you want?"

"Can't I just have a friendly conversation with my daughter?"

"We're not friends. I'm barely even your daughter. If you wanted to have a relationship with me you shouldn't have left as soon as you learned of my existence."

"It's not like that, Ava. Look, I was calling to invite you to my wedding."

"I'd like to decline," I retorted.

"Don't make up your mind so fast. Elaine wants you to be a bridesmaid."

"I don't even know who that is. I definitely don't want to show support for your marriage."

"I want you to know her. I want you to like her. I know you still don't understand why I left your mother, but--"

I cut him off. "I understand that you weren't ready for children and that you weren't ready until a year ago when you tried to contact me out of the blue. You missed sixteen years of my life, you don't get to pop in as soon as it suits you."

He sighed. "I know I wasn't a good father. I wasn't a father at all. I regret that. And I know we will never have the father-daughter relationship everyone else has. I can't fix that. But I want to be on good terms with you. I don't want you to hate me."

"I don't hate you. I simply want nothing to do with you."

"Let's make a deal. You come to the wedding. If you still want nothing to do with me after that, I'll leave you alone."

As much as I wanted to refuse, I knew if I did, my mother would try to talk me into going, and when I would refuse, she would make me. I might as well make it easy on myself and agree. "Fine. I'll go. But I'm not wearing pink."

I heard his voice pick up. "I'm glad to hear it. I'll let you know more when it comes up. I'll talk to you later, sweetheart."

"Bye." I hung up and handed the phone back to my mom.

"You don't need to be so hard on him, Ava."

I crossed my arms and moved my gaze to my wall. "He doesn't deserve anything else."

"You're acting like a child right now."

I couldn't argue with her statement. It would only prove her point. Plus, she was right. I was being petulant. I always resorted to being childish when interacting with my father. I couldn't help myself. I was no longer that little girl wondering why he didn't want me, wondering where he was, wondering if he would come back if I just did this or that. Yet, all of those feelings were still having an effect on me. Over time they had turned into anger and bitterness, but childish nonetheless. I couldn't bring myself to be mature with him. I didn't want to.

My mother continued, "I think you're going to enjoy the wedding. I haven't met Elaine, but she seems very sweet. And you get a free trip to California."

"Mom, why am I the only one upset by this? He's getting married. That doesn't hurt your feelings?"

"No. It would have several years ago, but I've grown. So has he. I'm no longer harboring any bad feelings or holding grudges against him. He's finally at the point where he's ready to make a commitment and maybe even start a family. I'm happy for him. You should be, too."

"I can't be."

"I'm going to ask you to act like it, then. He needs your support."

I wanted to yell, but I managed to say calmly, "I needed his support. He wasn't there to give it to me."

"I know. But that was the past. He's trying, Ava." At my silence, she added, "You can try, too." With that, she left and closed my door behind her.

I laid down and stared at my ceiling aimlessly. Making an effort with my dad was not going to be any small feat, but I supposed if he could do it, so could I.