Party Boy

Christmas Cuddles

Coming back to Illinois after being in California in December was not very pleasant. It was freezing. At least the snow was pretty, and I still had another week and a half of winter break.

When she picked us up from the airport, my mom invited Nico over for Christmas dinner. He happily accepted, since it was his dad's year to be with him on Christmas; eating with us would be much more preferable to getting takeout and having to sit through an awkward family meal with a brother who hated him and a dad who was disappointed in him. I was looking forward to having him over, but now I had to get him a present.

I had already wanted to get him a present, but the problem was deciding what to get him. I denied every idea I thought of. It needed to be something he liked as well as something that showed I put a lot of thought into it. I couldn't think of something that was good enough for him. Originally, I was probably going to just give up and not give him anything. But now that he was going to be with me on Christmas day as my mom and I opened presents, I needed to think of something.

I only had three days to brainstorm and obtain the gift. I was stressing out about it way more than is justifiable. I tried to distract myself by hanging out with Nico.

Usually my winter breaks are full of staying inside, wearing PJs, hot cocoa, and Christmas movie marathons, but this year I got dressed and had Nico over. The fuzzy socks and hot cocoa were still in the equation, but instead of cheesy Christmas movies, we watched Red Dwarf, a 80s/90s British sci-fi comedy he introduced me to. I honestly didn't think a sitcom from decades ago would still be funny today, considering my not-so-kind opinion of Friends and Seinfeld, but the show was golden.

And it was so much better watching it with Nico. His laugh was adorable. And every time I laughed, I saw him glance at me out of the corner of my eye. Most of the time, I was too nervous, but every now and then I smiled back at him when I felt his gaze on me. He rubbed his neck, which I knew meant that he was nervous or embarrassed. I guessed he liked my laugh, too. Before meeting Nico, I would have had a difficult time believing anyone would like anything about me, even if they flat out told me so. But after knowing him, I believed that his compliments were genuine, and although there was still doubt in my mind, I even believed that I could pick up nonverbal signals about what he liked about me.

Despite this, I still couldn't accept that he liked me as more than a friend, even though I felt like there were signs. Because I couldn't even figure out if I felt that way about him or not. We both liked each other a lot, but we also both hadn't ever had genuine friendships before, at least not in a long time. Regardless, being with him made me happy. And I knew he was happy, too.

A chill came through the closed window that was behind us as we sat on the couch and I shivered.

Nico looked at me. "Are you cold?"

"Yeah. I'd go get a blanket, but I don't really want to get up, so I'll just tough it out," I said with a smile.

"I'm warm," he said, smiling back.

"Well, you don't have to rub it in my face!"

"Well..." he started. I waited for him to finish. He looked unsure, but I gave him another smile. "I can share," he finished, scooting closer to me and putting his arm around me.

I tried to hide the butterflies that erupted in my stomach and focused my beaming smile on the TV. "Thanks," I said.

"No problem." I wanted to look at him to see if he was feeling the same way I was, a nervous excitement, but I didn't want him to see how I was feeling if he wasn't, so I just kept my eyes on the TV. But maybe he did like me...