Party Boy

Skating Skills

The days flew by and November was there before I knew it. I had known Nico for a little over a month now, but it felt like longer. Lyn and Lila still hadn't talked to me. It hurt, but honestly, I didn't miss them.

One week, the temperature reached below freezing. The pond in the park had frozen over and was open for ice skating. Nico and I were walking around it Thursday afternoon after school.

I watched all the shouting kids and cute couples slide across the ice. Several people flew gracefully along, while others stumbled clumsily, though everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves.

"I've never been skating before," I commented.

"Me neither," Nico concurred.

"Maybe we should go sometime," I joked.

"I'm down with that. How about Sunday?"

Dread seeped into me. I hadn't meant for that to be taken seriously. I'm sure I would be awful at it. There was no doubt I'd embarrass myself. I immediately brainstormed ways I could politely get myself out of this. But no. I wouldn't let myself back out of something that could potentially be a lot of fun. I recalled my first conversation with Nico. It's hard to enjoy yourself if you're never thinking about yourself. It's difficult to apply that when there are two different parts of yourself with different opinions. One part of me would love to go ice skating with Nico. The other part of me would hate doing something like that. But when I thought about it, that other part of me wasn't me. It was my anxiety. Like Nico told me, I didn't need to do things that weren't fun just to please other people. But I shouldn't let my anxiety take the enjoyment out of things that were fun. I was going to go. "Sounds good," I said.

"Awesome," Nico replied. He looked at me and smiled. I loved his smile.

~~~

The park looked picturesque covered with the gleaming snow that had fallen the night before. I mindlessly fidgeted with the zipper on my coat as I waited for Nico on a bench facing the pond. All the people laughing and gliding effortlessly along made me feel uneasy. I thought about backing out; I would go home right now and tell him I was sick and that I couldn't make it. I pushed that thought away. I wasn't going to let my anxiety control me.

After what felt like an eternity, (but was only five minutes at most,) I spotted Nico walking towards me. I stood up and smiled at him as he drew closer.

"You ready?" he asked, returning the smile.

"Not at all," I answered.

He laughed. "Don't worry, we can slip and fall all over the place together."

Together. Nico and I, together. I liked the sound of that.

Nico mistook my silence for worry. Which wasn't entirely inaccurate, I was very worried, but I was glad he didn't know what I was really thinking. He said, "It'll be okay, Ava. We're going to have fun. If you really don't want to do it though, just tell me. Don't feel like you have to do anything."

"No, I want to," I responded, despite the overwhelming feeling this was going to end badly.

We trudged through the snow to the booth renting out skates.

Nico addressed the bored-looking guy working the stand. "Can we get two pairs of skates?"

"What size?" he deadpanned.

"I need a nine." Nico looked over to me expectantly.

"Six," I said quietly. I hated talking to strangers, especially in situations like this. Asking for something, ordering my food, anything like that.