I walk out my dorm building to the cafe. Just as I'm about to open the door I hear a person call out my name. I turn around to see the person jogging towards me.
Hey that person kind of looks like Jase.
Wait a minute... That is Jase.
"Jase?!" I ask...
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Lacey's POV
"Hey." He walks up the benches to the top. I told him to meet me on the football field.
"Hey." I say quietly.
"What's wrong?"
"Welp I already told you what happened at my party. Um so I got suspended. Hope stole my necklace. Jase hates me. Ugh I don't understand, I mean I thought I loved you then I hear Jase say he chooses Hope over me and it's like my whole world explodes. I mean I really like you I do. I did. I don't know. I mean kissing you is great and it's not awkward or anything like that. Plus hanging out with you is really fun. But I get the same feelings when I'm with Jase. And it's killing me seeing him with Hope. You know?" He doesn't say anything.
"Are you mad?"
"Of course I'm not mad." He kisses my cheek.
"Why not? You should be angry that I'm wasting your time. And mad that I can't make up my mind."
"Hey do you not remember when I said I only want to see you happy? Well, do what you need in order to be happy. And I'll be with you every step of the way."
"I'm sorry. You're the best friend/boyfriend a girl could have. You're so sweet and caring, and such a gentleman. I love you so much. Even if it doesn't seem like it." Tears roll down my face.
"I love you too beautiful." He kisses my forehead and we hug.
He stands up and holds out his hand. I take his hand and intertwine our fingers. This is just friends being there for each other.
"Can we hang out at your house?"
He nods and pulls me to his car.
We get to his driveway and he opens the door for me. I follow him inside and up the stairs to his room. He opens his room door and I see a clean neat room. Just like Jase he has posters of basketball and football players. Unlike last time I was here I catch sight a picture on his desk. It's me and him together back when we were in middle school. I smile at the picture and look at him who is looking at me.
I slowly walk to him and see lust in his eyes as he says, "Do you think it would be okay if I were to kiss my first love for one last time?"
"That's definitely fine by me." I straddle him and wrap my arms around his neck.He wraps his arms around my waist.
I kiss him lightly as he groans from annoyance and kisses me harder. I push him back onto his bed, not breaking apart from the kiss. I grind against him as his hands slide up the back if my shirt.
I know I shouldn't be using him... But honestly he's a huge distraction from Jase.
He takes off my shirt and flips us over as he kisses down my neck. As he gets lower I take the chance to flip is back so I'm on top. I take off his shirt and trail kisses down his chest all the way to the top of his boxers. I slowly unbutton his jeans and pull them down. He kicks them off and flips us again. He kisses me once again.
"Should we really continue this?" He mumbles against my lips.
"I don't know. I want to but I don't."He rolls off me and lays down looking at the ceiling. We lay side to side for a few minutes until I straddle him and sit on his waist.
"I'm so sorry. I've probably put you through hell and back. I've wasted your time and I'm messing with your feelings. I- you know I love you and Jase. I-I just I don't know. I'm so confused. My heart wants Jase but my head is telling me to stay with you. Then again I have a broken heart so I think I should listen to my head. But it's just so hard to do. I know he has Hope but I can't let go. And I want to be with you so bad too. I just- I- I don't want to let go of either of you."
Tears fall down my cheek. He wipes away all the tears and sits up with his arms around my waist. "I didn't mean to make you cry. I know how hard this must be for you. I can't even imagine all the pain we both have put you through and for you still to be going through this just shows how strong you are. You don't even understand. But Lacey I will always be there for you when you need me. Okay?" I nod.
"What if I need you now? What if I need you to distract me and to take away the pain?"
"I can't do that." He pushes a piece of my hair behind my ear.
"Why not? You love me."
"I know. I do, but you don't love me enough. I want you to have your first time with someone you don't have to think twice about before saying that you love them and want to spend your life with them. I know how important this is to you. I want you to be with someone you're sure of. I'm not going to have sex with you."
"What if I stop liking Jase? What if we graduate and he marries Hope? What if I fall for you again and be with you forever?"
"As much as I would love that... Those are what if statements. And they probably will never happen. I want to be with you, but I think my chance is over. It was over a long time ago. But if you really want to be with me one day in the future I will be right there."
I lean over and kiss him. He kisses back with just as much intensity.
Just one last time.
He phone rings and he pulls away.
"You should get that." I move off of him and scoot back to the headboard.
One last time.
He goes over to his pants, takes his phone out, and answers it.
'Hello.'
'Yeah she's with me.'
'No problem.'
'Later.'
"Who was it?"
"Your brother."
"What did he want?"
"To know where you were. He said you can stay with me. Not like you weren't going to anyway."
"Yeah true. I'm hungry can we make some spaghetti?!" I ask excitingly.
He laughs at my childishness and nods his head.
We put on our clothes, make spaghetti, and wind up falling asleep in each others arms watching a movie.
