Secrets (h.s)

28

(Thought this pic was relevant)

We swim around for a while, and kiss more. I feel alive. Like how I felt when I sliced my skin open and drew in my blood.

But when we get back into his cabin, him pushing me against the door as soon as we get inside and pushing his mouth onto mine, I start to die a little.

Harry, Harry, Harry.

How much better am I? Do I think I stand on some kind of moral high ground because he did it first? The fuck kind of logic is that?

But I'm selfish. Very selfish. And I'm tired of crying all alone over every bad thing in my life. I'd rather forget it with cute company.

But I don't think I want this. I just want a distraction, but I don't think I want this.

I slowly push on him and he looks at me with a confused expression. I grab his hand and pull him back outside and onto the chairs out there.

"Let's talk. I want to know you, not just your body."

He chuckles and looks out into the sky.

"Well, I'm an asshole. Known as that to probably anyone you'd ask. But I'm just honest, truly. And I'm the leader of a gang. And I like the color black. You?"

I frown and my heart rate speeds up.

"Wait, woah, woah. Back up. Leader of a gang?"

"Oh yeah. I am."

"What gang? And why the hell are you working in another gangs club, then?"

He laughs lightly and I wonder why he finds everything I say so god damn funny.

"Doesn't matter what gang. And I'm doing that because it's our rival gangs club and I'm scoping out the place."

"Fuck, fuck, fuck. No, I gotta go." I say while quickly standing, the chair falling in the process.

"What, scared of me all of a sudden?"

"Hell no. Harry is my boyfriend. The leader of your rival gang. And I'm a member of said gang. This isn't right in so many ways. So now I have to leave."
I use the term boyfriend loosely, just to see how he'll react.

"Don't pussy out. He fucked you over. And I don't think our gang affiliations should matter right now. I want to get to know you as a person based on what I already know, not based on you being apart of my rival gang. I should hope you feel the same."

I sigh and relax a bit. He does seem like a cool person despite it all. And I'm not afraid of him. Maybe if we just talk...

"Fine." I pick up the chair and sit on the edge of it slowly while still keeping my eyes on his.

"Good," he says while turning to face me fully, crossing his hands in front of him.

"Tell me about yourself now, then."

I am blank for a couple seconds before I register what he said.

"Oh!" I say, "umm, well I'm pretty boring. I like black too. I haven't done much, but I think I'm an asshole too."