This is the Last Time [ BELLDOM AU ] [ COMPLETED ]

5//

Talk... talk... say something

Hurt him. Attack her. Kill them

Burn it down. Destroy it all

"Stop!" My breath is heavy as my mind becomes more agitated by the voices. They don't normally become this aggressive and it's starting to hurt my head. As I walk down the sidewalk, I get stares from people on the other side of the street and the honk of a horn from a passing car. Placing my hands into the front pockets of my jeans, I continue on towards the supermarket. "Forget them. They aren't real." I whisper to myself under my breath.

I enter through the sliding doors of the grocery store and move in and out of groups of people clustering around meat cases and fruit stands to get to the aisle that contains dried pastas for my family dinner tonight. As I scan the shelves filled with different types of pasta, I can hear the voices growing in sound and telling me to look to the person behind me who is taking care of their child. Taking a glance over my shoulder, I see a women giving me a strained smile and picking her kid off the floor and leaving me to be alone.

"Don't listen to them, Matt," I breathe out as I run a hand through my hair and place my head onto the ledge in front of me. The voices die down and I finally have some headroom until they pick up again and become louder and more violent. I close my eyes tightly until water slips through the lids and fall down my cheekbones as all I can focus on are the voices. "You aren't real. They aren't real. It isn't real."

Listen... listen... listen to us

Look... look... look to the people

Hurt them. Kill them all

Die! Burn! Rot! Die!

"Matthew?" Everything stops and I open my eyes wide to find that someone is standing to the right of me. Removing my head from the shelf, I look to see Dom leaning over my hunched frame with a hand placed on my shoulder. I stand up and feel Dominic's hand slid off my shirt and land to his side as he continues staring at me with concern in his grey hues. "What were you talking about?"

"I-I don't know." I stutter on my words as I drop my eyes from the blonde haired boys and run a hand up and down my neck in thought. The voices must have pushed me to talk aloud and make me completely blackout for a second or two. "What are you doing here, Dom? I mean with me right now?"

"Getting away from... people. Now that I think about it, this wasn't the best place to do so," Dominic laughs out as I bare a smile and grab a box of elbow pasta before looking up to Dom's sunken face. He seemed to be presenting a different persona that I've never seen when we are around Chris or the therapy group and it relaxes me more to see him smiling and laughing. "Do you mind if I walk with you?"

Shaking my head, I allow my friend to follow me to the check out and walk out of the store with me. Dom stayed by my side as we passed through the business district of Teignmouth and made it into the residential area where my house belongs. I could feel the voices rising again in my head along with blurry and fuzzy images appearing outside my vision so I tried to start a conversation with Dominic to stop the feelings from coming on.

"Does it help?" My question catches the blonde haired boy off guard and he stumbles on his feet until he gains balance and shrugs his shoulders. "Why do you do it? You said it's because you hate yourself but there has to be more than that, Dom. There's always more under the surface than on top." Once again I get a lift of his shoulders as a response and I bite my lip to hide my anxious and jittery questions.

"I don't have the best home life. My mum and dad don't care to talk to me and only listen to my sisters problems and achievements. I did it at first to get attention from them, but once I kept doing it it felt good to have the constant pain around. A pain that I could actually control." I look to Dominic who is already staring at me and whisper a soft 'sorry' before looking away from him. "You said that you cut yourself because of the things in your head. What are they exactly?"

"Voices mostly but there are also these figures that I see. They aren't ghosts or manifestations because they don't have faces, it's like a fog that hangs in the air and follows me wherever I go. Then there are these pinches on my skin that start out as pokes and turn into jolts of pain." I finally let everything that I have stored away pour out of me and fall onto Dom's shoulders to worry about. "The cutting creates a different pain that balances out the things in my head and makes me feel... blissful, I guess. Nothing hurts anymore. Well, not until they come back."

Dominic becomes silent as we continue walking on the sidewalk and get closer to my house with every step. I sigh lightly and shake my head like I did something totally wrong and stupid and apologise to the grey eyed boy for making him listen to my problems. We let the silence settle on top of us and wait until I reach my house to talk again. I blush slightly at Dom as he does the same and rubs the back of his neck in embarrassment.

Touch him. Hold him. Kiss him

Hurt him. Stab him

Talk... talk... talk to him

"Listen, Matt, if you ever want to talk I'm here for you. Your problems seem more important than mine," Dom speaks out as I feel the heat rise on my cheeks and my hands shake lightly. I smile brightly to him and say 'thank you' as he turns around to walk away but stops to look over his shoulder and calls to me. "See you at therapy then, Matthew."