Goals

"It could've been a lot worse."

I'm pretty used to people staring at me a lot. During soccer matches, all the bystanders would watch and critique my every move, waiting for me to either mess up or do something incredible. Practically everywhere I went, I would catch guys looking at me in ways that made me want to punch them in the face and run far, far away. I was always the first one to volunteer to present projects in front of the class, which lead to having a lot of pairs of eyes focusing on me. Being the center of attention wasn't something that I loved, especially when it came to hormonal boys, but it was something that came with being who I was.

That being said, the way everybody was staring at me when I walked into school on Monday was really unusual. Every time I turned around I would catch people quickly looking away, while others wouldn't even bother to. Even when my back was turned, I couldn't shake the uncomfortable feeling that comes with being observed. I kept trying to pretend like it wasn't bugging me, but I was starting to get really tired of it by the time I had to go to lunch.

"Is there something on my face?"

Kelly laughs. "Besides that mask you're wearing?"

"Very funny. Jerk."

Deciding not to elaborate on why I was asking, I follow Kelly to the team's unofficially designated group of tables. Christen is already sitting at our usual booth and is looking as bored as ever as she waits for us to arrive. She jumps when we slide into the seats around her, causing the tower of plastic cups she was constructing to tumble. We laugh harder than we should, which motivates Christen to throw one of the fallen cups at us.

Tobin comes by a couple of minutes later carrying a bunch of calculus books that she carelessly drops on the table. The sound resonates throughout the cafeteria as she sits next to me, placing her forehead on the table and groaning.

After sharing some confused looks with my friends, I gently nudge her shoulder. "Is there something wrong, Tobs?"

She shakes her head without elevating it. "I just have this huge AP calculus quiz tomorrow that I need to study for."

Kelly grabs one of the textbooks and opens it, squinting at it as if it were a foreign language. "You should just go to the library."

"I did!" Tobin leans back and throws her hands up in exasperation. "I went straight there as soon as lunch started!"

Her sudden outburst leaves us all mute, as Tobin hasn't shown any signs of agitation since we won the state championship last year. It was one of the most intense games we've ever played, and we barely won due to a lucky goal in the last minute. Since I had been the one to drag us to victory, the opposing team was more than eager to jump me afterwards. Two of their players approached me as soon as the final whistle blew, raining on the parade that was my team's celebration. I ended up with a bloody nose, but it would have been a lot worse if Tobin wasn't there to tear them off of me. The ref had to hold her back to prevent her from doing anything impulsive and violent herself.

It wasn't something that she was proud of. She apologized to me nearly a billion times while the medics fixed up my face. I kept telling her that she didn't need to be sorry for standing up for me, but that didn't seem make her feel any better. Tobin later told me on the bus ride home that she didn't feel bad about defending me; she felt bad about losing her cool in front of everybody. She said she never wanted to be a person who couldn't control themselves.

The midfielder sighs and relaxes back into her seat. "I'm sorry, guys, it's just that things have been really weird all day."

"Have weird things been happening?" Christen asks.

"Yeah." She lowers her voice and slouches forward. "I kept catching people looking at me in the library, and I can't figure out why."

This catches my interest. "Really? People have been looking at me all day, too."