Goals

"Watch me."

I look down at the first question printed on the paper in front of me, and my hopes of earning a decent grade on this quiz instantly disappear.

I had tried to study after I got out of the shower last night, but the thoughts in my head were too loud, and I ended up getting through only two pages from the textbook over the course of twenty minutes. I had hoped that a cold shower would wake me up, but the sense of alertness that I felt as I exited the restroom lasted for only a few minutes. Mom came in and saw me hunched over at the kitchen table, exhaustion embedded in my features. She suggested that I head to bed early, shushing me when I voiced halfhearted protests. My legs carried me up the stairs, but I felt like they belonged to someone else. I had no idea where the strength or will to move them was coming from. I drifted over to my bed and was asleep before my head hit the pillow.

Our teacher is staring intently at his computer, captivated by an article that's probably about a scientific concept that I don't understand. I turn around to look at Tobin's answers, and she moves her scantron towards the edge of her desk as subtly as she possibly can. I usually excel in the classroom without needing to cheat, but something about physics makes me want to hit my head on the desk to galvanize my brain until something clicks. Tobin's always been better at mathematics than me, so she helps me out every once in a while, when I find myself lost. The shrill sound of the phone ringing makes me face the front of the classroom, and Tobin quickly slides her paper away from me. Our instructor jumps at the sudden noise, but quickly picks up the device and voices a casual greeting.

"Yes, they're here. I'll send them right away." He puts the phone back on the reciever and looks straight at Tobin and I. "The principle wants to see the two of you in his office. You girls should probably get over there as soon as possible. Don't worry about the quiz; I'll let you make it up sometime next week."

I hear Tobin suck in a breath, and I instinctively reach behind me to give her a hand to hold. My own anxiety is surging, but wearing my nerves on my sleeve isn't going to make the midfielder feel any better. I give her hand a squeeze, and then we pick up our bags and head into the hall.

The walk to the principle's office is a long one. Tobin lets go of my hand every few seconds, only to initiate the intertwining of our fingers again when she needs some reassurance that everything will be alright. I want to tell her something, anything to make her feel more relaxed, but I remain painfully silent. We were taking a huge risk, and there was a very real possibility that the plan we worked out with Foudy would go south. When we reach the principle's office, I wrap my arms around Tobin and hold her against me until I feel her heartbeat slow down. She loosens up with each passing second, melting into me like the rest of the world and all the problems in it never existed.

"So what about that date?"

I pull away and grab her face in my hands, just so I can stare at her for a little bit. "Let's just skip the dating part and get married."

She cracks a smile and lets out the smallest of laughs. "If you insist."

I could have lived in that moment forever, looking at her and saying whatever sappy lines popped into my head. The closed door separated us from everything that could keep us apart.

"Are you ready?"

She shakes her head, and then grabs the doorknob, her other hand never leaving mine. "As ready as I'll ever be."

It is cold in the principle's office. The principle sits behind his desk, which is plagued by an unattractive coffee stain that stretches from his pencil holder to a stack of miscellaneous forms situated on the right corner of the peice of furniture. A picture of his wife in a white dress sits upon a shelf behind him, next to a photo of the football team crowding around a trophy and holding up their pointer fingers. Someone has used a silver Sharpie to write thanks above the heads of the boys, the letters seeming like misshapen stars in the night sky.