Goals

"What the hell is a Talex?"

Tobin gives me something to snack on again in physics the next day, which I really appreciate. The only problem I have with it is how everybody stares at me as I eat a croissant from the person they think is my girlfriend. I understand that people are bound to take extra note of a gay couple, but watching everything I did was really unnecessary. I shoot Tobin a helpless glance halfway through the period, and all she can do is return it. It isn't until our instructor starts selecting random students to answer questions that they direct their focus away from me and towards the board.

"I love you, Lex, but I'm never bringing you breakfast again."

I laugh as I slowly fall into step with her as we walk down the hall after the period ends. "I really can't blame you."

I can tell that all the attention being given to us is affecting Tobin a lot more than it's affecting me. She's keeping her head down and holding her penny board to her chest as if it'll make her smaller. I'm guessing caving in on herself until she's invisible is exactly what she wants to do to escape right now. She had always been an introvert, purposefully avoiding drama, and now she was at the center of it.

"Tobs?"

"Yeah, Lex?"

I think about the conversation I had with Kelly the other night. "Things will turn out exactly how they're supposed to."

She looks a little confused. "Those are some inspirational words of wisdom there."

I gently grab her arm to stop her as we arrive at my next class. "I just mean that I don't want you to worry about anything. About what everybody thinks we are."

Her face relaxes in realization. "Oh. You don't need to tell me that, Lex."

I grab her board and hug it against myself, slouching in an attempt to imitate her. "I don't?"

"Nope." I can tell she's trying not to smile, and I love it. "I'm being super cool about all of this."

"You're wearing a hoodie so that you can hide your face. It's a hundred degrees outside."

Tobin tugs at her sleeves, which are so long they go past her wrists. "I get chills easily."

I straighten myself up and hand her prized possession back to her. "I know this rumor has been stressing both of us out."

She shrugs, shaking her head a little. "I don't know what we can really do about it."

"I think we have to take some action before things blow up."

"Didn't you just say things will turn out exactly how they're supposed to?"

"But it's up to us to make sure that they're supposed to turn out okay."

She looks at me for a long second. "Why do we have to do anything about it?"

This surprises me. "Don't you want to do something about it? The whole school thinks you and I are a thing."

Tobin clenches her jaw. "You don't have to say it like that."

I don't hesitate to ask what she's talking about. "Like what, Tobin?"

For the first time ever, I see the girl who once saved my life look a way that I can only describe as hurt. She quickly covers it up, replacing her sensitive expression with a stony one. "Like the idea of dating me is shameful and gross."

The tardy bell ricochets off of the walls around us, and I realize that the halls have completely emptied. I open my mouth to force whatever response I can come up with out of it, but all my mind can do is replay her statement over and over. It takes too long for what she says to completely register and for me to make sense of it. Tobin didn't think that dating me would be a bad thing, and I had really messed up by making it seem like I didn't feel the same way. I'm about to try to explain myself when Tobin turns away from me as if she's going to leave.