A Long Way from Then

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You were so sure that with a little time, you'd get over Dean. At least, start to.

Three months have crawled by, but the heartache of walking away from him is as fresh as ever.

Amara runs amok, a path of death and destruction everywhere she goes. To make matters worse, she's snared Dean by some sordid power, forcing him to feel things he doesn't want to feel. Yes, it makes your blood boil. How dare she?! She's like a child throwing the biggest tantrum in the history of the world. No: the universe.

You have another worry, though; if the Winchesters can't stop her, it won't be just Earth that she consumes. It will be everything.

Everything.

No more Heaven, no more Hell. No more souls to rest in eternal peace. No more eternal peace.

Everyone is desperate... everyone is searching for God in every corner of the world, the universe, and beyond. He must be out there somewhere, right? He wouldn't just stand by and let her do this... would He?

Billie has continued your training. She says you have access to Angel Radio, but it's not instinctual for you like it is for the Angels. It won't be easy. The first thousand times you tried you heard nothing at all, but just last week, you finally broke that barrier and heard white noise. Every time you try again, you tune in to more white noise. The Angels are quiet.

"Maybe they just don't want to broadcast their plans," Billie suggests.

"If they even have any plans." You stare up at the sky, drawing your lower lip between your teeth.

"Ohh, I know that look." She crosses her arms and shifts her hip. "What are you thinking?"

You meet her gaze, biting the inside of your cheek. "Who says I'm thinking anything?"

She sighs through her nose.

Shaking your head, you say, "They need help. Sam can't go up against her on his own."

"He's got Dean."

"No, he doesn't." You've kept a close eye on Amara's interactions with Dean; Billie should know this. Dean is compromised.

"Well, the Angels will be no help. The gates are sealed."

You clench your jaw. "I know. I can't believe they would stoop so low." Heaven's gates have been shut for just over one Earth day and already the number of restless souls has sky-rocketed. There's nowhere to send them - almost two hundred thousand already - and you're sure as hell not sending them to - well, Hell. You wonder what God would say if He knew.

Once upon a time you were a humble college co-ed/part-time barista at a local coffee shop, fantasizing about dragons in a hidden corner of the campus library a few times a week. And one day, in walked the enigmatic Sam Winchester - and your life was never the same. It's hard to believe that now, even for you. It feels like another lifetime.

"They're doing what they think is best," she reminds you. "God isn't around to tell them what to do."

"How do I talk on Angel Radio?"

She squints at you. "Same way you listen. You tune in and concentrate."

You were afraid of that.

"But they aren't going to respond. You know that, right?"

You scan the pale blue above you, following it all the way to the horizon.

Billie sighs. "Boss, people don't stop dying because Heaven is closed."

"I know. I just... I need..." You sigh and look at her. "I have to be alone for a little."

"How long?"

You shrug. "I don't know. I've got to try to get through," you look up at the sky, "and find out what they're doing up there. I mean, you know, if they even care about all the people down here."

"You mean, you want to know if they care about the Winchesters."

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