Surviving the Dark

Chapter 10 - Truth

"Nice tat." I look up to see Jamie admiring my tattoo.

Jamie must see something in my eyes because his face darkens and I can see a look of concern spread across it.

"Th-Thanks." I choke out.

"Help has arrived!" Xavier shouts from where he walks into the area we are in.

Liv looks up and smiles at Xavier; she hates pruning, so I am guessing she is going to try and rope him into doing it.

I look at my watch on my wrist and see that I had been daydreaming for most of the afternoon. I started planting the lilies at mid-day and with Xav being here it means it's now past 3. No wonder Jamie looks concerned.

"Hey Isa, what are you planting? The colours look great." I look around and notice that even though I was daydreaming, I had still managed to plant most of the red and white lilies.

Then it hits me. Isa. Liv calls me Is and Jamie calls me Izzie. Xavier has been calling me the only name I never thought I would hear ever again.

A smile spreads across my face, a pure genuine one. My cheeks hurt, and I know it's because I never smile. If I do, it's only a small one.

"Oh my gosh! What did you two idiots do to her?!" Liv exclaims, rushing over to my side.

She pulls me close into a hug. I tense. When she realises, she releases me, and I notice that where my face made contact with her shoulder, its wet. I reach a hand up to my face, and it's only then that it dawns on me that I have been crying.

"I'm all right." Liv gives me a look as if to say 'I don't believe you.' "Really. I am." I smile my second genuine smile for the day and send it her way.

"Hey, Izzie. You just got dirt all over your face." Jamie states between chuckles.

He offers me his hand and helps me up. Once I am standing he swings his arm around my shoulders. I still tense with the initial contact but soon relax.

"Okay, I think we should go back home. It looks like Is needs a nice relaxing bath." Liv stands up, brushing off the dirt from sitting with me. "EEEEE! I can't believe we got a shower and a bath with the new place."

When we moved into the new apartment a few weeks ago, the only thing Liv talks about is the fact that it has a bath. Most places these days just have showers. But we got a place with four bedrooms, so Xav can still have a room, and the bathroom has both a shower and bath.

"That actually sounds fantastic. Do you think I can use some of your bath soaps Liv?"

Her eyes light up, and she nods her head so much I believe that it's going to fall off.

It took a good thirty-minute walk back to the apartment. The whole time Liv was telling me in detail the soaps she has. One that did sound nice was the British Rose Petal-Soft Bath Foam that she got online from The Body Shop.

When we got back, I headed to my room to get a change of clothes. I emerged from my room and heard whispers coming from the lounge room. Before going to the bathroom for my bath, I tiptoed to the entryway. Careful not to make it known I was there.

"Let it be J; she has probably been through a lot. She will talk when she is ready." I heard Liv say. I heard a groan which I assumed came from Jamie.

"Jamie, it's been a month. Would you open up to someone after knowing them for a month? More than she already has?" This time, it was Xav's voice I heard. Silence followed.

Not wanting to stay around to hear anymore I went to take my bath. You always hear from people that the shower is the best place to think. And it's true. Some say it about baths too. Though for me, I start overthinking.

It was relaxing don't get me wrong but in moments that I find myself relaxing, my mind starts to work overtime. So while my body may be physically relaxing, my mind isn't.

'I should tell them the truth. At least tell them everything that doesn't involve being a pixie.'

I liked it here, and I didn't want to hold myself back so much that, the others didn't think I wanted to be here.

Before my courage and determination left me, I got out of the bath and got dressed. I towel dried my hair and left it a styled mess on top of my head.

"Hey, um, guys. Can I tell you something?" I said walking into the lounge room. I didn't wait for a reply, but the look on their faces told me I could continue.

"When I was 10, my family died. Poisoned actually. I wasn't home; I had gone out on my own for a bit. I just needed to get away from them. I didn't know that I wouldn't see them again." I could feel the tears start to fall. Jamie got up and lead me to the couch and slung an arm over my shoulders trying to comfort me. And strangely I didn't tense, instead welcoming the small form of comfort.

"Mum and dad were a big deal where I was from. But they never let it get to our heads, though sometimes my little sister did get a big head. Thea was four, and I had two little brothers Axel was six, and then there was little Zae, who was only a year old." I forced myself to look up from the ground into the eyes of my friends. All I could see was sympathy.

"I didn't tell you guys because I find it hard to let people in. But you have all been so kind to me."

Jamie then embraced me into a full hug then, with me silently crying into his shoulder.

"Hey. Isa, it's okay. I'm glad you told us but I mean you could have waited till you were fully ready to tell us. I hope we didn't make you feel like you had to tell us anything." Xav says. I couldn't hold it in any longer. I let out a sob.

"What did I say." Xav's worried tone came crashing down on me. I realised I didn't explain about the nickname he had given me.

"Oh, Xav I'm fine. I'm sorry its just when you call me Isa, it reminds me of Thea and Axel. Isa is what they used to call me."

"Oh geez. I am so sorry; I'll stop calling you that from now on."

"No! Please don't. It's good to hear it. I honestly didn't think I would ever hear it again. It somehow makes me believe they are still here in a way."

I pull away from Jamie, which surprises him. I go over to Xavier and pull him into a hug, surprising myself that I was capable of doing it.

"Please don't stop calling me Isa, unless you feel like you don't want to."

I pull away from him and give him the best smile I can muster up. I'm then engulfed into a hug by Liv, who has tears staining her cheeks.

When she pulls away, she gives me a small smile. One of encouragement and hope.

And it's then that I realised that for once I was able, to tell the truth. They still don't know the whole story, and I know they never can. They aren't pixies, but they know enough to know who I am.

And for a strange reason when I am with them, I feel like I am safe.

Like I am home.