Surviving the Dark

Chapter 20 - Explanation

"I need to tell you something."

"Isa what is it? You've gone really pale."

I look away, and wipe my hands on my pants. My knees are trembling. Jamie notices and wraps an arm around my waist guiding me to the couches.

Liv disappears into the kitchen and comes back with four cups of tea on a tray. Zae sits opposite me, Liv beside him, while Jamie is beside me still with his arm around me.

"Zae." I stop, eyes widening at my slip up. "I mean Xav, do you know anything of your birth parents?"

"Um, not much. I was put into the foster system at one. Mum and dad took me in not long after that and when I was six they adopted me. I was told I was found crying off the side of a hardly used road on the edge of a forest. The social worker told me that I was lucky someone drove down that road, no one really used. I could have been there for days or weeks before someone found me and I would have been dead. Doctors said I was lucky and was only out there for a few hours."

He looked at me confused written all over his face.

"Why?"

I opened my mouth to reply but couldn't form any words. My mouth went dry. I gulped down my tea, scolding my tongue and throat in the process on the still piping hot drink.

I looked up from my now empty cup and locked eyes with Xav. The moment I did I could feel myself start to panic.

My hands started to tremble, the palms kept sweating no matter how many times I wiped them on my pants. My mouth was dry and my mind was blank.

I was finding it hard to breathe.

'What is he doesn't believe me? What if they kick me out? What if....'

"Izzie, breathe! You can tell us."

'What if they thing I am crazy? What am I going to do if they kick me out? What is going to happen to Zae? Will Jamie and Liv think we are freaks and kick us out? What if it's too late? What if the Black Eyed Soulless Shadows are already here?'

My vision starts to blur and I start seeing black spots dancing along my sight. I feel Jamie shift beside me. His fingers lightly cup my chin, turning my head to face him. His hands then rest on my shoulders, his bright emerald eyes locked with my violet ones.

"Deep breaths Izzie. In..." He takes a deep breath with me. "and out." Slowly we let out the breath we just took in. "In and out. That's it." I keep taking deep breaths until my vision becomes clear again, Jamie still doing it with me.

"Izzie, you can tell us anything. Nothing you say will change they way we see you."

I can't keep thinking about what if's, Xav is getting worse. If we had found his bracelet by now I wouldn't have to worry but we have all looked everywhere. I need to just do it.

I take another deep breath and look to Xav.

"So I know what happened to your parents, because they are my parents too. I didn't know until the other week that you were my baby brother. I didn't tell you because I didn't want to ruin your happiness being part of the Blu family but you are really part of the Dawn family." I say all in one breath wanting to get it all out.

Xavier's eyes grow wide, his mouth ajar. Liv mirrors his expression. In the corner of my eye I see Jamie press his lips into a line.

"You mean I actually still have a family?" Xav asks.

"You have me, I'm all that's left." I say dejectedly. His face drops slightly, but a small smile is spreading across his face.

"I have an actual blood related sister!" Xav jumps up and pulls me up too, wrapping me in a hug.