Surviving the Dark

Chapter 25 - Fight

'Stay and fight them' Jamie's words bounce around in my head.

"I-I... Bu-but" I stutter, my mind reeling.

Mum and dad tried that thirteen years ago, the only ones left are Zae and I.

"N-no! That was tried and tested thirteen years ago and it didn't work."

"Is-" I cut Liv off.

"No. I lost my parents, my siblings. Up until recently I thought I was the only one left. If my dad would have just listened to me, they would still be here. Or if I didn't run off when dad said no, none of this would be happening." As I'm talking I can feel my eyes well up and my throat tighten. "I can't risk loosing Zae again." I whisper, the tears threatening to spill over.

Not wanting to show the others the terror I feel I turn to go back to my room to finish gathering my things.

"Isa." Zae reaches out to grab my wrist, I pull away before he can. I take a few steps towards the hallway. Arms wrap around my waist and a head rests on my shoulder.

"Isa, please." Zae begs into my ear. "We can't run for the rest of our lives."

"I've done it for thirteen years Zae. Am I tired of it? Yes. But we need to. Think about it this way." I remove his arms from my waist and turn to face him. "You get to travel like you want to." I give him a smile to try to reassure him even though I know it is a weak effort.

"Running for my life is not how I wanted to travel Isa." His shoulders slump and he looks down at his feet. When Zae looks up he is defeated. "But you've dealt with these things all your life, so if you think we should leave then I will go with you." He says with a tight smile.

I place my hand on his shoulder and give him another tight smile of my own.

"Isa-" Zae trails off and takes a deep breath. "Is there any chance we can leave tomorrow though? I would like to say good bye to my friends."

I nod letting my hand fall back to my side. Ideally we should leave as soon as possible but with how defeated Xavier looks right now, and the fact he needs to leave everything and everyone behind. Well it's the least I can do to let him say good bye.

I shift awkwardly on my feet, the tension hanging thick in the air. It's almost suffocating. I start seeing black spots in my vision and my palms are starting to get clammy. Wanting to be strong for Zae I turn on my heels and head to my room. I move robotically trying not to show how close to a panic attack I am.

Once I am inside my room I close the door behind me. I felt sick to my stomach, my hands were trembling uncontrollably and I felt like someone had wrapped their hands around my throat and was slowly squeezing the life out of me.

I had some how managed to stumble my way over to the corner of the room, opposite the door and behind my bed so I could hide incase anyone came in.

*Knock knock knock*

I didn't answer hoping that who ever it was would get the hint that I didn't want to talk. That I wanted to suffer this panic attack alone not that they knew I was having one.

*Knock knock*

"Izzie, I'm coming in."

Sliding down the wall of the corner I am in I hope Jamie doesn't see me, that my bed obstructs his view of the corner enough.

I head the door knob twisting as I bring my knees up to my chest and stick my head between them. By doing this I make my self smaller in attempt to hide from Jamie but also to help with the nausea and lightheadedness I feel from the attack.