When Darkeness Breathes...

II The Beginning

I consider this the beginning. Others might have a different view. But this is when my eyes were finally opened to something more. So to me, it really starts here.

So what makes me so totally different from everyone else? Lets call it my perception. I feel like I am connected to everything. And I mean everything. I hear other people, even when they are just thinking to themselves. I can feel what is happening within myself. This is literally the scariest part. Why? Because I can tell when my body is doing different things, you know, those involuntary functions that your body does without your knowledge? Nope. I know. An example you say. I twisted my ankle the other day. Big deal. Probably. Except I woke up in the middle of the night, because I could feel the tendons strengthening, and stretching out. Moving to grow back together. Literally. I could feel them doing the work. Its almost like a line of communication. They have voices. But not like we do. It is more like sounds and the sounds have specific meaning. So complex.  Then there is the outside world. Another example. Trees. They talk. To each other. There are sounds that they made in ways of communication. On top of the way they move and they way that they sway. It is like how we communicate with our hands and body movements. How do I know, you say?

I was downtown, they were widening the road from two lanes to four. On the one side, there was a row of these really old trees, they had to be 80 feet tall, easily. I was watching as the chainsaw went to work. Watched as the trunk was cleaved in two and the tree swayed as it world was upset, as it prepared to tumble and come to a broken rest. And do you know what I saw? I watched as the trees next to it, these huge giants, moved their branches, extended themselves outward as they attempted to catch their falling companion. There was no breeze. The was no movement in any of the other trees that lined the row. Just these trees next to the unlucky one. Trees that had grown together for years and years. I watched as they reached out and I watched as that terrified tree fell, that it grabbed desperately at the extended branches, trying to capture itself and survive. It fell with a crash, a terrified scream and I swear that the trees around it bowed and cried. That is what I mean by they ability to feel the world around me. Like an extension of myself.

Once again, this all began with the dreams of darkeness. How are they all connected and what do they mean?

I did learn something new today. What I did not say was that this ability to feel what is within myself, this communication, is painful. It is always painful. There is no other way to describe the sensations. It is pain on some level or another. Usually severe if the communication is strong enough. Sometimes I can feel as my organs move or shift, this is very painful. But today I learned what this is called...it is Nociception. And I am not crazy. People have the ability, it is just that in most people, it is locked away in the recesses of their involuntary control. The ability to feel my organs is called Visceral, and it is communicated as pain.

©2016, Aelfwynn MacGregor, AMB