Always

Chapter 49

I didn't remember exactly how I had ended up where I was, but somehow I had arrived at a park next to a school a little ways away from my house. I sat on a bench, staring unseeingly at the ground in front of me. It was cold out, and the wind that whipped across my face was unforgiving, but I didn't care. I couldn't go home, and I couldn't go to Harry's, so the park bench it was.

This last week had been incredibly stressful, and it seemed to all have come to a point today. My parents were getting divorced, and Harry had, however small, at least some part in that. Neither he nor my father had been able to tell me what was said between them, but I couldn't ignore what my dad had said at breakfast.

After talking with Harry....

It was the phrase that had haunted me since the moment he uttered it. I couldn't decide what I was more upset about: my parents getting divorced, or the fact that Harry played some part in it, and I hated myself for that. Surely any normal child would care more about their parents getting divorced than something their boyfriend might have done, but my heart felt torn in two, hurting equally for both offenses.

Besides, Harry was so much more than a boyfriend to me. I had known that for a while now. And while this had made me angry and upset with him, it didn't change how I felt. Of course I still loved him with everything I had- there was nothing he could ever do to change that- but it hurt.

It cut me deeply that he was capable of saying something to damage our relationship when it wasn't even said to me. If he said it once, would he say it again? If my parents were able to stop loving each other, would Harry be able to stop loving me?

The thought terrified me more than anything that had happened up until right now. So much so that I almost jumped up from my bench and ran back to him, but I restrained myself. I needed to calm down, to think things through, and really acknowledge my feelings before I went back and tried to talk to him. I didn't want to say anything else I regretted and couldn't take back.

My body was getting very chilled at this point, thanks to the wind and my lack of movement. My mind shifted back to my parents, wondering what they were doing now that I had left them alone moments after they announced their impending divorce. Were they still both at home, or had my dad left already?

It occurred to me that he hadn't actually said that he would be the one to leave, but I knew it would be the case. My mom's job was here, our house was here, and I went to school here, while my dad's job was basically everywhere. In a way, it was like they had already been divorced, just without the emotional scarring that came along with it.

Maybe I would be able to handle this, after all. I knew if I was going to be able to handle it, though, I would need Harry, and at the moment I was still too angry to go to him. It would take me a long time to forgive this. My heart felt as cold as the rest of my body.

"Joey." I jumped at the sound of my voice, not expecting anyone to find me here. It had come directly from my right. How I hadn't heard him approach was a mystery to me, although I had probably been too wrapped up in my thoughts to really notice anything.

"Dad," I said, taking in his appearance.

"Can I sit?" he asked, gesturing to the open end of the bench.

"Sure." He crossed the small space and lowered himself to sit next to me.

"Here," he said, handing me a jacket. He must have noticed I'd run off without one. I stared at it for a second before accepting it and pulling it over my arms. I didn't thank him.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

I stopped myself from glaring at him. "No."

He took a deep breath, and I could feel him studying me from the side. "I hate to say it, Joey, but it really be for the best."