INSOMNIAC ✃ JIMIN

Night 12

너 없이 살 순 없어.
I can't live without you.

4:12 a.m

❝ Talking to the moon,
Trying to get to you.
In hopes you're on the other side,
Talking to me too. ❞

The brightness of the moon seems dim tonight. I can't help but to think,"Ah, even the moon knows how I feel."

If I'm the moon, Earth wouldn't receive any light during the night, the time when darkness conquers the place. Why? Because my whole existence shines only when I'm with you, my dear love.

Now that you're not, and you'll never be, I feel the hopelessness in myself growing bigger and bigger day after day. Until I can't do anything about it other than engulfing myself inside the hopelessness and darkness of my own soul.

It's already the 6th day of me living without you. It's only the 6th day, but it feels like 6 decades already. No, 6 centuries.

I, being an insomniac don't really help either. It's just, worse.

Every night, I have to fight back my warm tears from pouring as I think about you and our precious memories together. I can't make myself busy with stuffs, because I know I'll be more tired the next day, and that will do me no good.

I'm forced to ride the agony of laying alone, the king sized bed feels bigger now that I'm the only one on it. Alone. Lonely.

I don't know why I'm doing this to myself, but even if I'm with you, I can't help but to think that I'm not good enough.

Because I know you will be happier if I completely vanish from your life. If I leave you. If I let you go.

So I did, and I didn't regret my decision although I have to suffer so much because of that.

Because I love you, I let you go.