The Case

Chapter 18

Charlie's POV 

The pain of loosing someone is unbearable. You feel like your heart has burst out of your chest, like you eyes will never stop crying, like your whole world is numb because without that person you can't feel. 

How do you keep going when you know they can't? How do you laugh when you can never hear theirs again? 

I closed my eyes as the priest started speaking. He talked about life. And love. 

"No one deserves to die young, especially not an amazing little girl like Courtney!" 

I lost it. I stood up, removing my hand form Harry's and ran. I couldn't stand it. How can I sit there and listen to someone who is there, not for her, but because he is a priest and that is his job? 

"Charlie!" Harry yelled behind me as I ran down the steps of the church. "Charlie!" 

I got to the grass and fell on my knees. "How can he say that? He didn't know a damn thing about her!" I cried. "He didn't know how amazing she really was, how she would go out of the way to help people, how she didn't let anything get in her way." 

"Shhh, I know Char." 

"NO YOU DON'T!" I screamed standing up and ripping away from his hold. "HOW IS IT FAIR THAT SHE DIED AND I DIDN'T? HOW IS IT FAIR THAT THAT LITTLE GIRL HAD TO DIE WITHOUT REALLY LIVING! SHE WAS STUCK IN THAT FUCKING HOSPITAL FOR YEARS!" I screamed, not being able to hold it in any longer. "TELL ME HARRY! HOW CAN WE JUST MOVE ON? HOW CAN WE JUST FORGET HER LIKE SHE NEVER HAPPENED!?" Tears were pouring down my face without stopping. It was like I had held it all together, pretending I was ok for a week and now I am letting everything out at once."HOW IS IT FAIR THAT THEY DIED YOUNG? HOW IS IT FAIR THAT THEY GOT SO FEW YEARS ON EARTH WHILE I GET MORE? HOW COME I DIDN'T DIE WITH ABBY? HOW COME IT WASN'T ME WHO GOT CANCER? IF GOD REALLY LOVED US HE WOULDN'T HAVE LET THEM DIE!" I had said it. All those doubts racing through my mind cam pouring out, like a broken faucet that wouldn't turn off. It just kept pouring everything out until the tank ran dry. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" I screamed. I screamed as loud as I could, my voice echoing off the walls of the church and the houses near by, scaring the birds into flight. I watched as they flew away, scarred from my outburst. 

Harry looked at me, tears brimming his eyes. He slowly walked towards me as I stood there, shaking, my face in my hands, damp due to the endless tears pouring out of my eyes. 

"I don't know Charlie, but I do know one thing. They may have had a limited number of years but they spent them well. They-" 

"DON'T YOU FUCKING TELL ME THOSE STUPID THINGS THEY TELL GRIEVING PEOPLE!" I screamed, "'THE GOOD DIE YOUNG' 'THEY ARE IN A BETTER PLACE NOW' 'THEY FINISHED WHAT THEY NEEDED TO' 'THEY WILL ALWAYS BE IN YOUR HEART' WELL WHY THE FUCK ARE THEY NOT HERE? WHY DID THEY DIE? WHY-" I choked out. 

My knees gave out and Harry ran and caught me, carefully bringing me to the ground, rocking me back and forth as I cried into his blazer. "It's ok baby, I'm here, let it out." 

I let out one last shaky breath, looking up at him. "Why do I deserve you?" 

Harry smiled weakly at me. "Love, you deserve the world." he said, kissing my forehead. "Do you want to go back in?" 

"They heard me didn't they?" 

"Who gives a shit. You are here for your niece, why the hell does it matter what they think?" I nodded as he helped me up, holding my hand as we walked into the church. 

Everyone turned to look at me, some with pity, some with anger, some with no emotion at all. "Charlie?" I looked up, hearing Courtney's voice. Nic was standing there. "Charlie, do you want to say a few words?" It was Nic. I need to stop thinking I hear her everywhere. 

I nodded and walked up, Harry kissed my cheek. I took a deep breath and looked out at everyone. There were a lot of people there. Some nurses, a few doctors, school friends, teachers, Nic's friends, most of the police force, the boys and even her day care. 

"Um, I didn't really prepare anything." I said nervously. "So I'm just going to wing it. Courtney was an amazing little girl. I know that anyone who knew her knows what I am talking about. She would do anything for anyone. She was kind and funny and everything a good person was. When she was little we all said she would be a little heart breaker and in a way she was. She touched the hearts of everyone she met, and now that she is gone it's like that part of your heart is gone with her. People say that she 'passed away' I think that is just a bullshit way of saying she died. Sorry, Court always hatred it when I swore. Why can't we just say that? She died, she is dead. She may never come back but we will always have our memories. Like the time we raced wheel chairs down the hospital and I let her win, thinking I would be a nice aunt, but she bragged for six weeks about it and never let me live it down." A few nurses laughed, remembering it, "Or when she captured that family of ladybugs and tired to raise them but they all ended up flying away when she took them for a walk. I remember getting that phone call. She was crying and it took three days to calm her down." I laughed a little bit to myself. "We will always have those memories, they don't ever go away and whenever we miss her or want her back don't think about how she died, think about how she lived. There was this saying I heard and it was 'it's not about the two dates, its about the dash in the middle.' 2004 and 2013 are just dates, that dash is her life. the dash may only be 9 years long but she spent every last minute of it. She spent it on others, helping them, being kind to them. Even when she cried in the hospital from the needles after she would apologize to the nurses for making them feel bad and give them her jello. She really hated jello. But the nurses kept giving it to her because she would find someone to give it to. Whether it was a doctor, a nurse, a grieving mother or another patient. So when you think of Court, don't think about how she died, think about how she spent her dash, and remember to spend yours carefully because one day we will just be two dates and we want people to remember our dash too. I love you Court." I smiled, looking up, not at the casket to my right where her body is, but up to where her soul is. 

A/N: 

Ok, sorry this was really short but I feel like it should end there. 

I just watched the new Glee and cried for an hour and I really wanted to write this now. I got the line idea from Puck and it got me thinking. I hope you like it. 

I would like to take this time to keep Cory Montieth and all his friends and family in our hearts and prayers. I can't imagine loosing a friend and I don't ever want to. 

RIP Cory Montieth </3 

And Happy Thanksgiving (sorry for the super depressing chapter on Thanksgiving... if you are Canadian) 

-Exx