The Baker, Part 2: Sous Chef

Chapter 16

Ben was tapping his foot, as he impatiently waited in the waiting room of Cassie's therapist's office. He had made her an emergency session today because of an outburst she had this morning. Liam started crying while he was in the bathroom. 

He heard him, but then heard Cassie's screams. He quickly went into Liam's room and saw her sobbing in the corner of the room, while Liam was screaming his lungs out. Ben went to his son and picked him up, before going to his wife. 

That proved to be a mistake. 

She screamed at Ben to get Liam away from her, then ended up running into their bedroom and locking herself in. It took hours to get her out. Julie, who was due back home in a few days, took care of Liam, while Ben spent the time talking to Cassie through the door.

When she unlocked it, he went in there and held her as she sat on the floor. She was crying into his shirt and kept saying how sorry she was. When he got her into bed for a nap, he called Dr. Ramsey in a panic. He was so worried and almost in tears as he explained what had happened. 

Dr. Ramsey told Ben to bring her in right away. What would be an hour appointment, turned into a two hour, and then three hour. Ben wasn't allowed to go in with her, so he had gotten up, walked around, drank the free coffee and water, ate the free snacks. 

He played on his phone for a bit, texting Julie for updates on Liam. He was treated with pictures of his son sleeping, or eating, or smiling and playing with some of his many toys. He texted his parents and Jess and Adam about what was happening and told them not to worry. 

When the door opened, Ben quickly stood up and smiled softly when he saw Cassie come out. "Hey, you," he softly said. She gave him a tiny smile, then stood next to him. Dr. Ramsey came out and said, "Benedict, can I speak with you alone?"

Ben nodded, then left Cassie with a kiss on the head. He followed Dr. Ramsey into his office and shut the door. "Mr. Cumberbatch, I think you'll want to sit down for this," he said. Ben slowly sat himself down and folded his hands nervously on his lap. 

"What's going on?" He asked. "What's wrong with her?" Dr. Ramsey started pacing the room, as he said, "She has waved her right to the doctor-patient confidentiality so I am able to explain everything to you. Please understand that what I am about to tell you, you must never use against her. It is critical that you do not use this as any sort of level or in some way to get back at her. Am I understood?"

Ben nodded furiously and told him, "Of course. I would never dare do such a thing. Please, I just want to know what is wrong with my wife. Is it...is it postpartum depression?" Dr. Ramsey gave him a sad look and sigh. 

"Yes," he told him. Ben put his head down and let out a strangled sigh. He knew it. Why couldn't he have been wrong? Why was this happening to her? She was so excited to be a mother, so why?

Dr. Ramsey sat down next to him. "Benedict, I know this is a shock and quite a bit to take in, but I need to tell you my diagnosis. Are you alright to continue?" Ben lifted his head and nodded after he sniffled a bit. 

"Good," Dr. Ramsey told him. "Now, she and I discussed her outburst today. She said when she heard Liam cry, she wanted to go comfort him, so she went into his room. When she tried to pick him up, he was kicking and waving his arms. To you and me, that's just how a newborn is when they cry. To her, it was her son resenting her. She believes he doesn't love her, never will love her."

Ben had tears in his eyes. "That's insane," he told Dr. Ramsey. "Liam loves her. When he finishes feeding, he wants to cuddle up to his warm mummy and go to sleep. When I tend to him at night, he always reaches for her. He misses her when she's not the one holding him."

Dr. Ramsey smiled warmly at him, then said, "And that's what you need to show her. You can't just tell her that, she needs to see it for herself. Other thoughts she's been having is along similar lines; doesn't think she'll be a good mother, doesn't think Liam needs her. She doesn't think you need her. She thinks you love Liam more than her and she feels resented herself."

This couldn't be right. "But...I would never resent her," Ben explained. "I love her more than life itself! Liam is my son, so of course I love him just as much. Why is she feeling this? Why is this happening to her?" 

Dr. Ramsey sighed, "There's no sure answer to this kind of thing. My best guest is her history with battling depression. All those feeling are just reemerging and it's hurting her. The best you can do is just be here for her. She needs you more than ever. She can't do this on her own. Show her that you love her just as much as Liam. Show her Liam loves her, but most importantly...be patient. This takes time and she needs all that she can get. Don't prevent her from doing any regular day activities, just let her be her. Alright?"

Ben nodded as he tried to process all this. "Alright," he said. "I would like her to see you a little more if that's alright." Dr. Ramsey nodded and said, "Of course. I'll work with her twice a week. Oh, and there is one more thing. Whatever you do...do not leave her alone with Liam." 

Ben furrowed his eyebrows and looked at Dr. Ramsey curiously. "What?" He asked. "Why? She didn't...did she say...?" Dr. Ramsey shook his head and told assured, "She didn't threaten Liam or share any desire to hurt him." That was a breath of relief. 

"Just do not leave her alone with him," he continued. "I have seen many unfortunate cases where the husband thinks the mother will never harm their baby. None of the outcomes have been good. I'm not saying I think she will do anything, but it's best not to take any chances."

Ben's head was spinning. This was too much to take in. He was thinking about everything he needed to do, could possibly do, the well-being of his wife and his son, and how any of this was going to turn out okay. 

"I can't stay with her all day," he truthfully said. "I work everyday, sometimes for six hours and sometimes for thirteen, even twenty. I can't take her or Liam to work, I can't stay home." Dr. Ramsey nodded, then said, "Well, what about your mother-in-law? I hear she's still around." 

"Only for three more days," Ben told him. "I can't ask her to stay for another four months, she has another daughter to care for and a job. I don't know, I suppose...I can hire a nanny?" Dr. Ramsey thought for a moment on that. "Honestly, I think seeing a stranger bond with her baby would just make things worse. It needs to be somebody she knows."

Thinking long and hard, he filed through every single one of their friends and family...until he finally landed on one. "Yeah," he sighed. "I think I know someone. I'll give them a call when we get home." Dr. Ramsey nodded, then said, "Great. In the meantime, just take my advice. It's crucial that you do."

They both stood and shook hands. "I promise, I'll do my part," Ben told him. "Thank you for letting me know all of this." Nodding, Dr. Ramsey told him, "I'm only doing my job. If you have any questions, feel free to call me at anytime."

Ben walked out of the office and saw Cassie sitting nervously in the waiting area. When she looked up at him, she looked scared and humiliated. It broke his heart to see her like this. He went up to her, then got on his knees in front of her. 

"I'm here every step of the way," he told her. "We'll get you through this, baby." Her bottom lip quivered, as she nodded. She then threw her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. He wrapped his arms around her and rubbed her back. 

He breathed her in and held her as tight as he could. "I'm never giving up on you," he told her. "Never."