Darkened Wings

Chapter 10

                                                                                Roman's POV

I knew she would find out one day I just didn’t think it would be this soon. It was a subject I knew she would be mad and possibly frightened by. I mean wouldn’t you freak if you found out you had past life’s? This is going to be hard to tell her considering everything that has happened in the past. Our past wasn’t exactly full of rainbows and butterflies. There was blood and hardships and not to mention that she died around eighteen every life. This is defiantly going to open old wounds and create new ones. But I just wish she didn’t find the book. I would have rather told her myself. Not her finding out by pictures and being confused as to why she looked like Camilla and why all the girls have the same eyes as her. Well I guess what’s done is done. So let’s do this and hope she has a positive reaction.

Walking over to her I crouch down in front of her and take the book out her hands. I study it for a minute and run my hand over the cover. I sigh. Old memories flooded me and I couldn’t help my heart clenching. She was my one weakness and through her I could fall. And no matter how hard I tried to stay away and keep her away from me I would break and always come back. She was my one and only true love and I won’t ever love anyone but her. This girl holds my blackened heart in her small dainty hands, it was forever hers. Dead or alive.

Squeezing my eyes shut I put the book down and reached for her hands. Reopening my eyes I could see the confusion on her face. Raising her hands to my mouth I pressed a kiss to each of her palms. Putting her hands down I put the book back in her lap. Slowly I opened the cover to the front page. Here we go. “This is Camilla. She’s the one that started it all,” I said pointing to her picture. “She was born March 21 in 1864 and she was the most beautiful creature in the world. Some would mistaken her for an angel. She was my angel.” I traced the picture of Camilla with my finger. God, I truly missed her.  Her beautiful voice, goddess features, and her laugh. Oh her laugh was like bells to my ears. “When I first met her I knew she was the one for me. I fell in love wither the minute I laid eyes on her. It wasn’t very soon till we were madly in love. When I told her I was a fairy she accepted me instantly despite all the stories about us. We were happy but you see someone found out about us. Fairies and humans aren’t allowed to be together. So we were breaking a law in the fairy world, and it didn’t seem to matter that I was the prince. What I was doing was like a sin to my people and land.”

Lilac just stared at me so I just continued on. “They took us to sacred ground and tied her up. An old wise fairy came up to her and put a curse on us. Camilla would come back in a different body but with the same eyes. And if she fell in love with me and kissed me she would die. It would happen over and over again in a cycle. Then she plunged a dagger into her heart and took her away from me. It was then I shut off my emotions and went on a rampage. I killed a lot of people including my parents. They took my heart and reason to live so I just returned the favor.”

By now my breathing was labored and my jaw was clenched. Anger and hurt bubbled up inside of me and wanted to spill out. I didn’t even know if I could go on telling her anymore. Her clenching my hands tighter made my anger drop to a zero. “Is that the only reason why you want me? Because I look like her?” she asked. Her voice sounded angry and tight. Shaking my head I caressed her cheek, “No. You may look like her but you’re not her. Your different, more stubborn and honesty I don’t know how, but, more beautiful. Yes it was your looks that first attracted me but then I realized your nothing like her. I’m in love with you not her. I gave you my heart and it’s yours no matter what.”

She looks away and lets out a shaky breath. “Caleb said something about me and him sharing a past. What was he talking about?” I stood up abruptly and walked to the fireplace mantle. “Her name was Crisse, another past self of you”, I started. “She tricked me, making think that she loved me, but in reality she was in love with Caleb. One day I was going to Caleb’s courters and saw them kissing each other. Turns out they had been seeing each other for a while behind my back. I lost it and killed her.” I put my head down remembering the memory. Her screams echo through my head and Caleb’s cry to please stop. That was the day my best friend lost himself in hate and darkness. “I know Caleb still hasn’t forgiven even though he says he’s have. Just like I know he a picture of her in his drawer. I broke them apart and now that I look back…” I look up and turn my head to the side to look her in the eyes. “I regret it.”

I swiftly place a kiss on her forehead and whisper in her ear, “stay away from Caleb he will only harm you.” Then walked out the door thinking, damn those mushy feelings.