Be My Juliet [on hold]

Chapter 41

*Jess's POV*

"You three need to leave.  Now." a nurse ushers us out, shutting the blinds after she does and leaving us with the lasting image of Phil writhing in pain as the machines go crazy.  It's times like this that I wish I had followed the short-lived dream of my childhood and pursued medicine, that way I could know what the hell those machines are telling the nurses in there.  Is Phil's heart racing?  Is it too slow?  Are his O2 stats too low?  Oh look at me, remembering terms from House, one of my favorite shows.  I feel myself grin stupidly and unexpectedly as I think back to the show, giving my mind a thirty second escape from the hell I'm trapped in right now.

Before I'm aware of where I am in the hospital and know what I'm doing, I find myself sitting beside Pen and Dan, both of them crying uncontrollably.  I sit there stone faced, waiting for the tears to come but they never arrive.  Is this what shock is?  I feel numb, as if all of this is just a bad dream and I'll wake up to be in my apartment all alone, the bed wet from sweat and my throat sore from screaming in my sleep.  I yank my gaze away from the couple, tilting it down to my thumbs to watch them twiddle and almost dance together.  

"What the fuck?" I hear after God knows how long... half an hour or more, zapping my eyes and attention up and to the speaker: Dan.  He's staring at me with a crazed look in his dark brown eyes, his nose crinkled up in what looks like disgust.

"What?" I ask him dumbly, looking behind me to see if he's actually noting something around me and not me myself.

"How are you so... calm?" he spits out, his voice harsh as if he's trying to keep from screaming at me in such a public place.  

"I... I don't know."  I reply, noticing that my voice is monotone and I can't do anything to help it.  It's a flat line with absolutely no emotion, no quiver or hoarseness like Dan's.  Nothing.  "I just am."

"Excuse me?"  I hear from a different voice this time, snapping my head up to see a woman dressed in a bright white lab coat.  A doctor.  I sigh in relief, managing to convince myself that I've escaped Dan's wrath since this lady will tell us good news.  She's got to, right?  He's fine.  Phil's fine.  I try to read her face for some sort of sign that I'm right, but instead I find only sadness in the light wrinkles on her forehead.

"Yes?" Pen answers for the group, wiping her eyes with her sleeve hastily.

"Were you three with Mr. Lester?" she questions, the grip on her clipboard tightening ever so slightly.

"Yes, we were.  How is he?" Pen asks, her clutch on Dan's hands echoing that of the doctors on the board.

"I'm afraid Philip has suffered significant intra-abdominal hemorrhaging.  This means that his body isn't circulating enough red blood cells, which carry oxygen and help cells survive.  Luckily, we've caught it quickly, and we should be able to fix the bleed."

"So will he be okay?" Pen presses, recognizing that the doctor didn't really answer her question.

"He's in surgery right now, but I'll give you updates as regularly as I can."

"Thank you Doctor."  With that she walks away, her white tennis shoes squeaking on the tiled floors as she goes.  Pen turns to Dan and sobs into his shoulder, Dan's eyes locked with mine as I watch them.

"NOTHING?" Dan shrieks, making other groups standing around us turn to look at him.  

"What?" I repeat.

"You just found out that someone you supposedly care about is DYING, and you don't give a shit?"

"That's not true... I care - " I try to assure him, but he doesn't have it.  Instead he stands up and starts pacing in an attempt to calm himself down.

"Dan... sit back down.  He'll be okay." Pen soothes him, about to get up out of her seat to lead him back to the couch.

"No!  You don't know that!"  He cries, again making everyone look over at us.  I look away and cross my legs, trying to wake myself up from what must be a nightmare.  "I might lose my best friend." Dan's voice cracks, turning away from the both of us.  Pen finally walks over to him and puts her arms around his torso since she's too short to put them around his shoulders, hugging him tightly.  She circles to stand in front of him, looking up at him and telling him something I can't quite make out.  Finally he turns back around, approaching me and kneeling down to be on my eye level.  "Promise me you give a fuck about him."

"Of course I do!"

"I said promise me." he tells me sternly, pointing his finger at me as if I'm a child who's done something wrong.

"Why do I have to?" I ask, anger bubbling up inside me.  "Why do I need to prove myself to you?"

"Maybe because of the bullshit you pulled with Pen?" his eyes go wide, laughing a little at me.

"That's in the past." I state, looking to Pen to make sure we're still good.  However, she darts her eyes away from me, looking instead at Dan as he stand up and goes over to her.

"I guess you really are a heartless bitch." he spits out, shaking his head slowly.  "Get out of here.  Before I throw you out."

Silently, I stand up, grabbing my things and turning to walk away from the only people I have right now.  I walk home in the goddamn London rain, not wanting to hail a taxi and interact with any other human beings.  All I want is Pen and Dan and Phil, an inkling of James' warm embrace returning into my thoughts.  I push them away quickly, not wanting to cry over him anymore.

After the trek back to my apartment I collapse onto my bed, sobbing into my pillow as all the emotions I should have had at the hospital take over my body.

A/N: Hey guys! new chapter in LESS THAN A MONTH OMG ARE YOU PROUD OF ME??? sorry it's a little short but i didn't want to add anything else because i thought this was a good place to stop.  is it just me of is jess's POV's always sad?? i should change that lol.  so i have two (well... three) things to tell/ask you.  1. I AM ENTERING THIS STORY IN THE WATTYS!! YAY!! im so excited to enter. if you want to vote for this story for people's choice (which would honestly make me the happiest person in the world) you gotta tweet (basically): "I nominate Be My Juliet by writingmaniac321 #MyWattysChoice" on AUGUST 1 2016! NOT TODAY. NOT TOMORROW.  AUGUST 1!! follow me for a reminder of when to send out that tweet.  speaking of following... my birthday is coming up and it'd be a GREAT present if i got 2k followers by then (July 9)! it may be too much to ask but HEY WHY NOT TRY AMIRITE.  if i get it i'll make a special bonus chapter of BMJ oOoOoOoOo incentive. remember to vote/comment if you liked this chapter (ALSO THE THIRD THING: make sure you still send in chapter titles! you guys have come up with really good ones omg), and stay amazing xx