Let Me Keep You Safe - 5SOS boyxboy

Chapter Seven

 Calum is silent as Michael stares at him, the razor blade that he's just found being held between his fingers.

"Calum," Michael says, his voice serious. "Talk to me. Why would you do this?"

Calum shakes his head slowly. "I didn't," he says, his voice just a whisper.

A wave of relief goes over Michael when he hears those two words and he immediately stands up and wraps the small boy in his arms. He begins placing small kisses all over Calum's face and neck, whispering incoherent words in between kisses.

He pulls away and looks at Calum who now has tears steadily streaming down his face.

"Please talk to me if you ever feel like you want to hurt yourself," Michael says, his voice trembling. "I promise you I will be by your side."

Calum nods, still not making eye contact with Michael.

"I'm going to throw this out, okay?" Michael says, holding up the blade.

Calum just sits, motionless, as Michael gets up and walks across the hall to the bathroom. He hears the toilet flush and he assumes Michael has disposed of the blade.

Calum hadn't wanted him to find out about this. He had gotten the blade out of his mom's razor on one of the days where he was feeling particularly down. He held it for a while, turning it over in his hands and debating whether or not he really wanted to go through with it. At that exact moment, though, he'd gotten a text from Michael. It was just one of those silly pictures that he sends him occasionally, but it snapped Cal out of his trance and the blade has been locked away in the box on his nightstand ever since.

Michael makes his way back into Calum's room and shuts the door behind him. Calum is grateful because this isn't something that he wants his parents to overhear and find out about.

Michael sits down beside Calum and takes both of his hands. "Cal," he says, his voice trembling slightly less than before. "Where did all of these notes come from?"

Calum glances down at the pile of notes that have spilled onto the floor. They were all things that had either been thrown at him, left in his locker, or just given to him by random people from school.

Some of the people who gave him notes are people that he's never even spoken to. He doesn't understand why everyone hates him so much.

"S-school," Calum answers timidly.

Michael's heart breaks when he sees Calum looking sadly at the pieces of paper on the floor. He can't believe that all of this has been going on behind his back.

"Who? Is is Jake? Did he and his friends give these to you?" Michael asks.

Calum nods, "Some of them, yeah. But some of them are from people that I don't even know. Everyone just hates me."

Michael squeezes Calum's hands slightly and shakes his head. "Baby, that's not true. Jake is an asshole and he's just taking out his own insecurities on you. You are perfect, okay? And I love you. Your family loves you. Please don't ever believe for a second that everybody hates you," Michael says.

Calum pulls his hands away from Michael's. He stands up, his face now flooded with angry tears. "How can you say that? How can you sit there and tell me that everyone doesn't hate me when you've seen what they're saying to me?" Calum asks, his voice raised.

Michael is stunned for a few seconds. He's never seen Calum yell at anyone, ever.

Calum reaches down and picks up a handful of the notes. "You're a fag, go die. Leave this school nobody wants you here. I wish I could slap that gay smile off your face. Your mother should've aborted you," he reads angrily, his eyes scanning over each note.

Michael stands up and places his hands over Calum's. He takes the notes from him and crumples them up, tossing them back to the ground and stepping on them.

"Calum listen to me!" Michael says, his own voice raising a few notches.

Calum obeys, looking up at him through tear-filled eyes.

"These people are fucking assholes!" Michael says, his anger seeping through. He's not angry at Calum by any means, but he's angry at all of these people who are being mean to him. And he's angry at himself for not preventing it. "They pick on you because you're an easy target, not because you deserve it at all! Although maybe if you'd stand up for yourself once in a while instead of sitting back like a coward, they might stop!"

Calum recoils as if he's just been slapped, and Michael immediately regrets what he's just said.

"Oh my god, Cal, I- I didn't mean that," Michael says, reaching out for Calum's hand.

Calum just backs away, his eyes lowering to look at the ground. "Leave," he says quietly.

"Wait, Calum, please, I'm sorry-"

"Leave," Calum says again, a bit louder this time. "I just need some time alone."

His calmness scares Michael. He wishes that Calum would yell or be angry or hit him or something. Instead, he's just standing a few feet away with his eyes on the floor, showing no emotion whatsoever.

Michael doesn't want to go, but he also doesn't want to upset him any further right now. So he slowly walks toward the door, taking one last look back at Calum who is crawling back under his blankets.

Michael wants to punch himself in the face. He's supposed to be the one making Calum feel better and all he's done is hurt him.

He just hopes that Calum will be able to forgive him.