Bruised and Scarred.

Nobody Knows

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“Jessa! Jessa! Jessa!”

“Yes Bray?”

“We’re going shopping!”

Ok who put extra sugar in his Apple Jacks this morning? “Oh we are, huh?” I said while rubbing the sleep out of my eyes and sitting up. “Yeah, mom’s sick and we need more food so you’ll have to deal with us for the day” said Lindsey who didn’t seem the slightest bit delighted. Lola however is probably at least a little happier than her sister. I quickly asked Lindsey to keep Brayden busy while I got ready. She huffed and walked away calling Brayden’s name. In a matter of possibly less than an hour I was showered, dressed, had a shopping list made out, and two teenagers and a seven year old to look after. Oh boy. I grabbed my phone, car keys and my bag before making my way out the door.

I decided to get food last because of whatever cold things we had to get and we’re now driving aimlessly through…a town and or city in New York? So I know literally nothing about this state, Lola is in charge of the GPS and I have no actual idea where we’re going. But Brayden insists on the aquarium. The aquarium we shall go.

~

This is mad. There is a freaking shark swimming over my head. Like seriously there’s a tunnel that you walk through with a fish tank on either side and above us. I have literally never seen anything like this. I mean if you’re stupid enough to go to the beach in Australia you might find a shark or two, but this is simply amazing. “You look like you’ve never seen a fish before” Lindsey snapped at my amazement. “I mean you’ve traveled the world with world dominating boy band what all have you not seen? Their…”

“The exit is right over there if you want to sit and wait” I said right back. I do not know what her problem is, but I’m not going to put up with it. That is not how I roll. “C’mon Jessa” Brayden said while tugging on my hand, totally making me forget about Lindsey.

After we managed to make it through the whole aquarium, we got something to eat at the Café. It was really weird because at my age I didn’t really think I looked old enough to have had Lindsey and Lola. “Your little boy is so cute. He looks a lot like you” an elderly woman said while slowly walking by our table. “He’s my brother actually” I corrected. “Oh. I’m sorry. You know you look awfully familiar. I feel like my grand-daughter pointed you out in one of the pictures of that band” Was I really getting recognized by and old woman?

“Here let me go get her”

47 years later…

“Hailey, is this the girl you were talking about?” this time the old woman was back with a small redheaded girl who was close to Lindsey and Lola’s age. “Are you Jessa?” she shyly asked. “That’s me!” I said somewhat excitedly.  “Can I get a picture?” I almost choked and spit my food all over the table. Instead I made sure to swallow, take a quick drink of water and nodded, standing up and crouching down to her height. Her grandmother took a picture on what I assume is her ipod. After she took a picture, Hailey gave me a hug and thanked me before walking away. What an odd day.

However we did eventually end up at the store. About five hours before it was supposed to close and if Niall were with me we wouldn’t have made it out in time. Okay that was a little bit of an exaggeration, but he takes forever to go food shopping with. We went into Wal-Mart and because I didn’t know where I was going and apparently neither did my three helpers. So I went towards the part of the store that seemed the coldest and eventually found the freezer section. I swear this has got to take a skill of some sort.

When we got home (later than I anticipated) mom was still passed out on the couch with a box of tissues, one too many mugs and plenty of blankets. I think she’s caught mom flu. Brayden and Lola were helpful enough to help me bring in the groceries and help put thing away. I set the new box of tissues and Nyquil bottle on the coffee table and left to hide in my room the rest of the night. I changed into a pair of Nialls pajama pants-don’t laugh if I say he might have a pair of mine- and crawled into bed. For about ten minutes I stayed up texting Lou and checking Twitter because I know the guys would either be busy, or close to going on stage. Suddenly I heard a light knock on my door. “Come in” I shouted quietly. Surprisingly Lindsey poked her head around the door frame. “Heyy, what’s up?”

“ I needed someone to talk to…and Lola ignores me and Brayden doesn’t entirely understand yet”

“What’s going on? Take a seat” I invited her in so I could understand what’s going on.

“Well basically, dad is gone at work until Christmas. Christmas for crying out loud! Mom is stressing over like mad and I hate seeing her like this because it’s not good for her health and she could be gone sooner than we expect at least that’s what the doctors last told us and she says it’ll be fine and that if she does have to be away for a while you’ll be here, but you’ve got a job that I’m sure you wouldn’t want to give up for three lousy kids who feel under appreciated. Now that you’re here and mom is sick again I just don’t know what to do. And I’m sorry I was such a jerk, but it’s all just too much. And Brayden? Poor Brayden knows nothing because he’s so young and I just want him to grow up with someone who doesn’t have a life to live and shouldn’t be held down by us” she nearly sobbed into my shoulder about mid-rant. I didn’t ask questions or anything, but sit there and rub her back as she cried. I wonder just how long she’s been holding this in. Using this as inspiration I tweeted, “Guys never keep things bottled up. It turns out worse than it already is L “When she was done I simply asked what she meant when she said mom was sick. All she could choke out was, “Cancer” before bursting into another fit of tears.

Half an hour later I was about to go to bed when I got sent a video from Niall. It started out sort of blurry and then focused in on his face a bit. “Hey babe this is for you” he said to the camera. He started to walk away and whoever was holding the camera followed and the noise gradually got louder and louder. Niall spoke into his mic and said, “Hershey park I want to hear you screeeeeaaaaaaaam” This made the crowd go insane. Everyone was screaming and cheering like mad. Niall then turned to face the camera again throwing his arms around Zayn and Louis. Harry stood next to Zayn and Liam scootched in next to Louis trying to keep them all in frame. “Byeeeeeeeee” they all said at once and pulled some funny faces before Niall took his phone, running away with it real quick while Liam started talking about the twitter questions. “Bye Jessa I Love You” he said before waving to the camera and pressing stop. Suddenly I wanted to cry. Instead I saved it to my phone and sent a text to Niall before falling asleep. “That was incredibly sweet. Thank you and I Love You Too”

His response was, “Sweet dreams”