Bruised and Scarred.

Expect The Unexpected

We were at the lock bridge nearly a month ago. Hard to believe it even happened in the first place. I mean yeah I’ve known him for ages and we’ve been together for at least 3 weeks up to that point. I hadn’t had a clue he’d be promising forever yet. As I went on Twitter this morning I found multiple pictures of what is me and Niall, but because it’s so blurry there’s no hardcore proof.

My following on Twitter has reached its thousands and wants nothing more than for me to keep the guys safe and see me with Niall. Oh how there is so much that they don’t know. However, I do like keeping it that way for now.

As of this moment at 3,000 feet in the air I am pressed against a window with a sleeping Niall, drooling on my shoulder. Deciding that my followers would love a new picture of Niall; I took a selfie and posted it using #Niall #Drooling #Awww in the caption. I sat out the whole rest of the flight like this while listening to the contents of my music library on shuffle. It was hard trying to fall asleep when you go from listening to Little Things to Do It Now Remember It Later. I was wide awake for at least 15 more minutes.

Fast forward through the rest of an uneventful flight and I’m guiding a boy band through an airport while dodging screaming girls. As we were almost to the luggage claim, Niall stopped me, jumped onto my back while I was completely unaware of what he was trying to do, and then told me to keep walking. This kid is something else.

When we walked into the dark flat, towing our bags behind I’m pretty sure we expected to walk in and flip on a switch. Leave our bags by the door, change into something comfortable and share half a bottle of wine. Does anything ever go right for us? Our flat was freaking trashed. Furniture flipped over, shattered glass; our TV was knocked over and broken. I was shaken just from looking at it. The sad part is that I know exactly who could’ve done this and it scares the shit out of me knowing that he’s been here and destroyed our stuff while we were gone. Niall held me as we walked through the rest of the place checking out the damage. My bed was stripped of its comforter and horrendous words were written in red spray paint. “I’ll find you. And your little boy band too” In our bedroom, originally Niall’s it was fairly undamaged. Just a messed up comforter and our clothes strewn across the floor in heaps of mixed articles of clothing. I silently cried into Niall’s shoulder as he brought us back to the front door. He told me to sit by our bags and wait as he called one of the guys.

~

Turns out the sleep I missed on the flight finally caught up with me and now I have woken up, but not in my bed. Then everything about last night rushed back to me so fast that I jest fell back in bed, because it was too much for me to handle all at once. “Oh Jessa; you’re awake” Niall said upon entering the room of whoever’s house that I’m in. I really just wanted to cry all over again. You could see the pain in his face that he felt what I was feeling. He’s seen me go through the cutting and everything since I was little. I know it pains him to see this happen to me. “We’re at Zayn’s. He let us stay and was the only one I could get a hold of last night” he explains.

“Please tell me last night didn’t happen. Pinch me and tell me I was dreaming” I looked up at him with a pleading look, just wanting him to not confirm my fears, but the look on his face did the opposite. We stayed in bed together for a while that morning. Niall playing with my hair as I stared at the ceiling at contemplated life. What is my reason for living? It’s just one bad thing after another with little things in between that are good. When is it time for me to give up?