Forbidden

Chapter Eleven

Nick paced in his living room, afraid his constant movement would wear out the wood underneath his feet. He was squeezing onto a stress ball trying to fight the regret he felt course through his body. He had done the right thing, turning Olivia away. Of course, it wasn’t at all what he wanted. He had originally felt excitement when his phone lit up with her name on the screen, but the reality of their situation soon set in and he knew he had to decline her invitation.

                He threw the ball furiously against the wall and it bounced back and smacked him right in the nose.

“Shit!” He grabbed a hold of it, quickly surveying his hand for any sign of blood. His eyes watered before finally spilling over the brim and he picked the ball up and launched it again, but this time, down the hall. He checked his phone a hundred times for maybe a missed call or a text message but there was nothing. He sat down on the edge of the mahogany coffee table and began typing out a message before erasing it.

                Fight it, Nick. You might’ve been attracted to her at the coffee shop but that doesn’t matter now. You’re a professional. Act like one.

                He suddenly wished he had known someone in this city that he could talk to about what was going on, but he had no one. His dad had died from cancer three years prior and his mom the victim of a drunk driving accident when he was sixteen. His college buddies wouldn’t understand, especially since they were in the same profession as he. He had no siblings to call. He was completely isolated with his thoughts and problems.

                Olivia brought something out in him that he hadn’t felt before. Sure, he had girlfriends in the past, a couple of them were even serious but they always left Nick feeling like there was something missing. They didn’t put a fire in Nick that he felt with Olivia. Maybe it was the whole off limits thing that was fanning the fire inside of him, but he didn’t think so. He knew it was deeper than that. She made him feel lively and high spirited and he always had anticipation inside of him knowing he’d be seeing her again. He felt his heart leap in his chest every time he heard her voice, seen her face . . .

                The only thing he wanted to do the night he was alone with her was take her beautiful face in his hands and kiss her intensely. He wanted to give in to his impulses and desires and be as close to her as humanely possible but . . . it wasn’t possible. It was wrong. It was crazy. It was completely forbidden.

                God knew Nick wanted to take a leap of faith and go against his best judgment and take a chance with Olivia. He knew he wouldn’t regret it. The only thing that would cause regret would be not taking the chance at all. They’d have to be vigilant and cautious until the end of the year to ensure they didn’t get caught. He sighed and rubbed his temples trying to make sense of what his heart was telling him and it definitely wasn’t agreeing with his head. I could lose my job, she could be expelled, but . . . we could have a good thing. How will we know if we never try?

                The age was never a factor. He knew they were close enough in age that he wouldn’t be considered a pedophile. But it was illegal, wasn’t it? Wasn’t there some kind of law that prohibited this type of thing? He remembered seeing law degrees in the office at Olivia’s house and it shook him momentarily. But it’s not illegal. We’re both adults.

                She would want this too, wouldn’t she? Olivia was clearly interested in him as well. The feeling was mutual but she was a smart girl. What if she realized the extent of the dangers that would be tied to their relationship and decided to drop his class?

                He shook his head and ran a strong hand over his hair. He knew what he needed to do.

                Nick walked over to his couch and picked up the cell phone he had tossed on top of it and selected Olivia’s name from the contact list. The text box pulled up on the screen and he typed his message and hit the send button.

Olivia, I’m going to have to cancel our meeting Monday morning. I’ll see you in class, though. I’m sorry.