why'd you come? // joshler

chapter four

"honey, wake up, it's 9 am!" Tyler's mom told him as she walked inside his room.

"okay, okay," Tyler whispered, opening his eyes, slowly.

"Tyler,"

"yeah, I'm getting out of bed in ten minutes, leave me alone."

"Tyler, why won't you let me talk?"

"fine, talk, do whatever you want to do."

his mom took his hand and sat beside him.

"tonight you screamed that you were scared and that you were going to lose your life. and I wanted to check you out, but I was too afraid." he looked annoyed.

"yeah, I am the one who has mental issues and suffers very fucking much but you are afraid and never do anything. as always. I should have expected it and you shouldn't have told me," Tyler whispered as he got out of bed and went into the bathroom.

he looked in the mirror.

'he said I'm hot, he must be blind', Tyler thought. he couldn't help but smile. and then he remembered.

the dream, the texts.

did Josh reply? was he even awake?

of course he was, he had to work.

he went into his room, took his phone and unlocked it, and got disappointed as he saw that he hadn't got any new texts.

he opened Josh's chat, and he saw that he read them, but didn't reply. he was curious to know his reaction, so he was sad about it.

'maybe he was too tired to reply or he woke up late and had to run or he simply forgot to reply', he told himself.

he decided to go into the forest that was kinda near his house. he used to take the bike or walk there, it was just five minutes.

he took his black jeans, he put on a t-shirt, and went downstairs.

"hi," he greeted his siblings.

he started to put on his jeans jacket.

"Tyler, where do you think you're going?", his mom asked, softly.

"forest", he replied.

his mom gave him a mad look and he understood.

"do I really have to stand here and ask for permission if I know you won't send me anyway and I will have to go outside from a fucking window? can't I just go and can you all keep doing your stuff and stop acting like you care about me?" Tyler's mom had tears in her eyes, as he went out.

he walked away, looking tired, but he felt happy because he had slept for 7 hours. it was a lot, to him. but he still was kinda annoyed about the fact that he hadn't got any text off Josh.

as he arrived into the forest, he started to smile. he felt a connection with the trees.

he usually sat in the middle of the forest in silence, thinking about anything, as his anxiety made him have millions of thoughts stuck in his head every second. everytime he closed his eyes and opened them again, he felt like everything was a little less beautiful than it was before.

he then got sick of this whole feeling, after a couple of hours, but he still had enough time to think about life and write down a couple lyrics that went trough his mind.

he smiled as he thought about one of the first songs he had written, and he had written it right in the place where he was sitting, when he was 17. he really liked it, but no one had ever heard it. it was very personal.

it was almost four in the afternoon as felt sick and tired, so he decided to come home. as he walked in, he found his mother sitting on the couch. he looked at her for a second, she smiled at him, and he ran upstairs.

he took his phone.

no new texts.

he felt really sad.

he laid in bed and took one of the pills which cured anxiety.

'am I awake?' he thought as he stared at the walls.

he fell asleep.

a.n. / i've been inspired by many songs by twenty one pilots because they perfectly describe the way I think and feel (also the reason i love them so much), for example Forest, Trees, The Run and Go, Ode to Sleep, Heathens etc. i will probably start to put the song that inspired me the most for every story part at the end of the chapters!!