Surviving the Nicholson Boys (Re-write)

thirty-seven : the heart wants what it wants

Song/title of the chapter: The Heart Wants What It Wants by Selena Gomez

"There's a million reasons why I should give you up, but the heart wants what it wants."

***

I ended up staying at Emma's for another two weeks, and we ended up having sex twice after the first time. Once each week, and we both felt fucking horrible each time.

How was I supposed to tell Jeremy that I had lesbian sex with my best friend not once, but three times? We had only began together for barely two months and look what I'd done. I was such a great girlfriend.

I was dreading going to school Monday. I was afraid of the confrontation. I needed to tell him, I knew, but the amount of anxiety building up in me as Emma parked her car in the school's parking lot was just enough to send me over the fucking edge.

"You got this." Emma whispered to me. I was staring at Jeremy talking to Haiden and Mikey. I took a deep breath and thanked her for the ride, then got out and walked towards them.

Haiden was the first to notice me and greeted me with a smile. "Hi, Aria." He sang.

"Hi," I waved at the boys.

I looked at Jeremy. "Hey, can we talk?"

He nodded. "Yeah, sure."

We bid goodbyes to our friends before walking away from them. "How was your stay?"

"All right," I said, "house quiet without me?"

"Mhm," Jeremy confirmed, "Jonah misses you a lot."

I frowned. "I miss him, too. I miss you, as well."

"I miss you too."

We stopped walking and I sighed, turning to him. "I fucked up bad, Jeremy."

"Emma told me about the sex." He stuffed his hands in his jean pockets. "But in all fairness, I fucked up bad, too. I was angry at you and got myself drunk and had senseless sex with McKenzie."

I blinked multiple times. "Really?"

He frowned. "It didn't mean anything to me. I...I don't know what I was thinking. I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry, too." I whispered.

We both awkwardly stood in silence. I glanced up at him. "What now? Do we breakup?"

Jeremy scratched his chin, where small stubble sat. "No. We don't breakup. We fix us."

My hands were shaking. "Seriously?"

He nodded. "I am madly in love with you, Aria. I'm not letting you go that easily. We both fucked up and both admitted to what we did. Now, we forgive and move past it; a clean start."

Jeremy reached over and took my hand into his, kissing it gently. "What do you say?"

"That sounds good to me." I was baffled. He didn't seem upset. I was confused as to why I wasn't as upset as most girls would be.

Jeremy looked around before his eyes darted back to me. "Wanna ditch today? Spring Break's tomorrow, anyway."

"Spring Break?" I asked. "But what about the play?"

"Postponed until after break. Auditions never happened because Mr. Ralph wanted you to be there." He said. "Let's go home, yeah?"

I shrugged. "Sure, yeah."

Jeremy guided me to his car and I climbed into the passenger's seat. He got into the driver's and started the car, pulling out of the parking lot and driving home. His hand sat on my bare thigh the whole time. He kept raising it slowly every few minutes until he was right at the hem of my shorts.

I smacked his hand away. "Watch yourself."

He winked with a smirk. We got out of the car and I unlocked the front door. Jeremy and I entered the house and threw our bags down by the door.

"What do you want to do?" I asked.

He raised an eyebrow. "Isn't that what Emma asked you before...you know?"

"Yeah," I chuckled and walker over to him, standing on my tip-toes to kiss his lips. He snaked his arms around my waist and pulled me closer.

"I missed you so much." He mumbled against my lips.

"You could've came and gotten me." I laughed half-heartedly.

"Could've, should've, would've." Jeremy pulled away and took my hand, leading me to the kitchen. I hopped up on the counter as he walked to the fridge, opening it. He grabbed a container of blackberries and washed all of them, dividing them evenly into two bowls. He brought one to me and I smiled.

"Thank you."

"No problem, babe."

We sat together quietly, eating the blackberries. I would look up at him occasionally and couldn't help but smile. He looked more hot than usual. Maybe it was his hair. Or had he gained more muscles?

"Done checking me out?"

"Only if you're done."

"Guess you're not 'cause I'm certainly not."

I shook my head and tightened my ponytail. "I look horrible."

"You look beautiful."

"You're required to say that."

"Not necessarily."

I smiled and so did he. I got down from the counter and sat down in the stool next to him. I grabbed his hand and held it tightly. "I'm so sorry. I should've stopped her. I should've known better."

"It's okay, I forgive you." Jeremy whispered as he rubbed circles on my hand with the pad of his thumb. "I'm sorry, as well. I don't know what I thought fucking Mckenzie would do for me. It was just a dick move."

"I forgive you." I whispered and he gave me a small smile.

"So," Jeremy reached up and tucked loose strands of my hair behind my ear, "is Emma a better kisser than me?"

I rolled my eyes. "Oh, hush."

He chuckled and kissed my hand. "I'm joking."

I sighed. "Okay, seriously, what do you want to do?"

Jeremy thought for a moment before standing up. He wrapped my legs around his waist, put my arms around his neck, and started leaving a trail of kisses from my cheek down to my shoulder blade. His hand travelled under my shirt and in an instant, he unclasped my bra.

"Jeremy," I whispered.

"Shh," he muttered. "Clean start, remember?"

"Oh, fuck me."

"Gladly."